Sesshomaru's Mate
by The Lady of Gaia
Summary: Twisted and broken within, Kagome has at last escaped Sesshomaru's hold on her with the help of the ruler of Hell. Sesshomaru is left in the mortal realm, craving the woman that left his side. As Kagome works to heal from what had been done to her, Sesshomaru works to regain her once more. Sequel of Sesshomaru's Concubine.
1. Chapter 1: Fight

Hello, I am the lady of Gaia and Its good to see all my wonderful readers once more.

I hope you're ready for the next round of my twisted romance between Kagome and Sesshomaru.

You saw the pain and damage that was inflicted now get ready for the path of healing that will unfold.

Healing is never as easy as people think, especially when the wounds inflicted are those of the mind.

Chapter 1: Fight

It just hurt. There was nothing but the agony; why was this happening to her now? She was deaf to the world outside, she was blind to it all, she was numb to everything but the pain that racked through her. She had died yet this pain that plagued her in life refused to end, to allow her to be freed from its tight grip.

She should have been freed from her pain, she wanted to be freed from it so badly. She had given up everything to be free; her life and her children. Only to have the pain continue a thousandfold, it had not been worth the price she had paid.

Screaming in agony with a voice no one could hear; it just would not end for her. Was this what happened to everyone that killed themselves? If so then it was just too cruel; she had been a good person in life before she had been taken. She had helped so many people, doing everything she could to see that they survived the battles against Naraku. But it seems to have meant nothing.

Everything had turned to nothing in the wake of what she was being forced to endure.

She was a person; a person that was being crippled by what she had endured in life. Why would she be forced to continue enduring the same in death? No one deserved this but she was not the only person to commit suicide. Which meant that others could possibly be suffering like her.

That was so wrong.

They had killed themselves to get away from pain like her. they had killed themselves to uphold their honour. they had killed themselves to escape yet they were going to continue to suffer for it. It was just so wrong that it would be their fate.

She refused. She refused to allow this to continue to happen to her or others. She had been a warrior only a few short years ago and it was time to be one again. It was time for her to be who she had once been; to become a warrior again so that this pain would just end.  
Kagome screamed this time was different though. This scream was made out of her outrage and pain that rippled through her soul. This time, those around her soul could hear her scream.

oOo

Enma turned in shock at the scream Kagome's soul emitted so loudly. The power within her was beyond her years in mortal flesh; he had never seen it in a human before. The demons and mortal souls around him moved away from her, their fear heavy in the air.

He would not take a step back.

This was his realm and he was master over all within it. Unlike her, he had things in this realm of his that needed to be protected. At the moment she floated before him as a threat to all that. He would not allow her to become that.

He would not allow her wounds to harm others; there were enough mortals that did that. She was so much better than that; she was a warrior that he could admire. So much like his own beauty that was so beautifully broken within. He intended to stop that with both women. His own as well as Sesshomaru's.

"Stop it," he whispered softly.

But the screaming only grew louder and louder. His throne room was beginning to shake, it was something that he had only seen once before. It had been the day that he had killed his father and taking the name Enma. That day had been a battle of gods that shook their realm.

It had the same feel as that day.

It would be another fight for his life. The thought brought a smile to Enma's face; it had been a long time since he had a fight like that.

"Stop it, Kagome."

The soul never responded to his voice, just continued to scream. Yet the formless shape of her soul was beginning to change before his golden eyes; to take form. His eyes snapped to her body still within Saburo's arms. Her blue eyes that had been closed before were now stared at him. There was no expression or emotion to be had within those eyes, they were the eyes of the dead even as the flesh continued to live.

It was so much more though than just living flesh. It was a garment that a soul wore, it was the earthly home of the souls but this body was different. For Kagome's soul, her flesh was more than just a garment to be wore or a place to be lived in when in the mortal realm.

It was her cage and his salvation.

He knew what needed to be done at that moment. "Saburo, bring her here now."

It was a struggle. He watched as Saburo struggled to bring the body to him. But still, his loyal friend and servant carried the body to him across the few steps that separated them. She was so light in his arms as light as a newborn would be to him. It was the same with his sweet beauty; no words needed to be spoken between them for Saburo to understand the next task that was to be given to him.

Enma would only one other with the task that was ordered unspoken between them.

As Saburo fled, Enma turned Kagome's soul once more. The screaming only grew and grew; all others were forced to flee with Saburo as it all became too much. The golden pillars slowly began to crumble under the weight of her screams.

But it all stopped the moment he took a step toward Kagome's soul with her flesh within his arms. It was when he took another step towards her that she attacked him.

Power burst from the soul as the flesh grabbed at his neck with a grip far stronger than that of any mortal. Those dead eyes stared at him as the power only continued to grow as the screams had. He still walked towards Kagome's soul with the intention of reuniting the two halves to make her whole.

Staring into those eyes as he did, Enma wondered how his cousin could this beauty so much pain.

oOo

Her blood was still wet on the blade as he stared at it. He was careful as the tears fell to not allow any of them to fall on her blood. How he longed to end it with the tainted sword within his hands.

It would be another wrong against her. He needed to go and find her body, it needed to see that she was given a proper funeral as well as that their children were cared for. He would do that in time; right now he just needed to grieve. He needed to feel the crushing weight of her loss upon his soul, to know that she was lost to him by his own actions, and deeds. She had deserved so much yet he had crippled her in so many ways that he knew that he would never be forgiven.  
It mattered not if the gods or Kagome herself gave him forgiveness; he knew the truth.

He was the monster that she could not live with. She had left everything that they had made together so that she could get away from him in the only way possible. He had given her everything that she could want in life or so he had thought.

He stared down at Bakusaiga, he could not help the longing that filled him to die. His hope that she would find happiness with him was gone along with all the dreams that he had over the last two years. How he had hoped that she would grow to love him as he loved her. That hope died inside him and made him want to die with her more than anything he had ever wanted.

But he would ensure that she survived before he did. Their children, her children would survive the loss of them and would not suffer as their mother had. They would live, grow, thrive despite the loss of their mother. They would live in this cruel world that made monsters like him and would be so much better than he had been. Their children would be better parents than them and his parents.

With his mind filled with those thoughts in his mind, Sesshomaru turned away from where he had found his sword. It was time to go and make sure that everything would be ready for when he was gone as well.

oOo

He could taste blood in his mouth as he took another step towards her soul. So much of him was being burned away by her powers, he knew not how he was still standing or how he was still carrying her body to her soul. Her body fought him every step he took towards her soul was something that he had never seen before. The blood in his mouth just reminded him that he was still alive and that this battle of the will was just beginning.

She hadn't beaten him yet.

It was more thrilling than anything that he could remember. The battle against his father had not even been as thrilling as this though it had been just as tough a battle as this one. That battle had been one of the bodies where this one was a battle of both the soul as well as the mind. The strength of this one woman was so remarkable that he could not wait to meet her in the flesh.

His skin burned hot, telling him that her powers were slowly losing the battle between them. Enma refused to stop though; a battle was never lost until one of the fighters surrendered or died. It was clear to him that Kagome would not surrender and live again. He needed to force her to give in, to remind her that life was worth living beyond pain.

That she just needed to reach out for it, to remember that she had more out there that just the pain. She needed to move past it all to heal and that was what he wanted to help her with.

It was in that moment that he heard the screeching wails of a child.  
He turned to see Saburo with a little silver-haired babe, crying her blue eyes out as she reached out. There was no question that the child in his friend's arms was Kagome's. The reaction from Kagome was instant.

Her power stopped it' attack on him and her flesh released its death grip on him. He stared at the child for another moment before looking back at the soul that had held his attention beforehand. Her instincts as a mother reacted to her child even in the torment that she no doubt suffered in.

"Saburo, bring the child to me."

Saburo didn't question it at all. His friend simply walked to him, all the while carrying in his arms the key.

oOo

She could feel that it was close. Her body was so near and she wanted nothing to do with it. She wanted to be free from her life so much; it had been nothing but pain before. She had killed herself to so that she could be reborn yet she was kept in this painful limbo, and there was no answer to why.

She wanted to be the warrior that she had once been but not in the life that she had given up. She wanted to be someone new, someone, free from what she had endured; others wanted to take her choices away again.

Screaming with all her might one last time, Kagome released her power and slammed all of it into where her body was. She knew what she wanted out of life as well as death. So many had made her feel as if she was foolish for not wanting Sesshomaru. His mother had acted as if she had been ungrateful for being upset about being raped by him. But they had been in the wrong.

She had every right to feel as she had, she had every right to want out of it all. Still, they had treated her as if she was wrong for it all. Even Sesshomaru had thought she was over-reacting to everything but the truth was far from that simple. She had been raped and abused by the actions of others that refused that everything that she had gone through was that. They had believed that she was being respected, and honoured when it felt as if she had been covered in mud, and laughed at.

She had not been a woman to any of them.

Kagome had been a thing to them all. She refused to continue to anything less than human again. She refused to allow all this pain to continue, she would be human again and be a new human as well.

She deserved no less and would fight for it.

It was then that she felt it. She would know it dead or alive, in every life that she would live. She would always recognize one of her children but that begged the question why was one of her children there? The only reason that came to mind was that her child was being used against her. They had found her weakness and planned to use it against her.

She cursed Sesshomaru for not protecting their children as he should have.

He had failed to do the one thing that she had wanted him to do, which now had their child in danger. It forced her hand to do something that she had no desire to do but would. Because even now, she was a mother.

As a mother, she would fight for her children even from beyond the grave. They were all that mattered to her, more so now and then ever before.


	2. Chapter 2: Help

Please forgive the long wait, my wonderful readers and enjoy the new chapter.

Chapter 2: Help

"No…NONONONONONONONONON!" He screamed in hysterics.

He knew that she was gone. There was a hollowness that filled him where she had once been. She had always been everything, even as he chased another.

He had always been a fool though. He had always thought that she would be there for him. He had never thought that she would be gone forever or that he wouldn't be able to save her. He never thought of her pain caused by him; he had always been so selfish where she had been concerned.

Everyone had tried to warn him, even her own mother had tried but he brushed it off. His brother and their children had been the obstacle that kept her from him before.

It was Kikyo all over again. He stared at the healed stump that was his arm…what was the point of living now that she was dead?

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO," he continued to scream as he stared at his stump.

Everything was gone. Everything that he had hoped for and dreamed of was dead. It was all cold in the ground like her.

But it didn't mean that he could just dig a grave for himself and follow her in death. No, he couldn't do that. He had to get revenge for her against his brother and their children. They did not deserve to live while she was cold in the ground, rotting away. He would give each a brutal death that they deserved for her death.

Then he would go to her grave and lie down with her until he died beside her.

oOo

She felt so warm and safe, lying there with her oldest baby in her arms. Kagome gazed down at Mizuki's silver head; her sweet baby girl held onto some of her hair. It was like her daughter was scared to lose her. It would never happen though.

She would never let her children go again.

Her heart still ached for the simple fact that she had given her children that fear. She was their mother, who was meant to protect them from their fears and worries. She had only given them more of both when she had killed herself. She had never thought her actions would cause such distress to her babies.

She had never thought of them when she had taken Sesshomaru's sword to her throat. She hadn't been in her right mind then. Poison had filled her veins for the last two years under Sesshomaru's care. Everything had been a poison to her mind, spreading through her flesh and corrupting her for it. She hadn't been able to think or feel as she normally would have.

She hadn't even been human.  
Kagome had been nothing more than an animal. A broodmare for Sesshomaru; raped by him and his actions. A thing that he claimed to have feelings for.

But you did not harm someone you loved like he had her. Never had he truly taken her feelings into account with anything he did. It had all been meaningless words. Every promise had been so empty and hallow. She had never been able to trust him or herself when she had been with him.

A soft cry ripped Kagome from her dark thoughts; reminding her of the new place that she found herself in. She sat up in the raised bed that she found herself in. It was just like her mother's king-sized bed back in the future.

There were beautiful golden cribs not far from the bed, care and detail put into each one. It took her a moment for her to find the strength to stand and walk. Each of her babies was in a crib of their own, all sleeping but one. Kagome smiled as she took Yume into her arms.

It felt so right to whole her beautiful little girl.

So different from her brothers and sisters but so beautiful for it. She was so like her father and uncle in appearance that Kagome could barely see anything of herself in her daughter. It was there though, hidden beyond the obvious.

Yumi cried softly even though she was being held. Her baby needed attention from her and Kagome was only too happy to give it to Yumi. Yumi told Kagome in the only way that babies could. How had she been able to let her baby go?

Kagome went back to the bed to find Mizuki quite out of sorts. It was rather funny to find Mizuki sitting up on the bed and looking rather cross with her. Barely a year old and her oldest was already so alike her father. She saw Sesshomaru in each one of them, there was more of their father and their uncle in them. How she had hoped before to see nothing but Inuyasha in her children.

Yet it was almost a relief to see so much of their father in them. She knew not if that was normal for a victim like her to hope for. It certainly didn't feel like it should be normal yet that's what she wanted.

Their father, her abuser, as well as a former comrade, was a proud survivor. The world was so cruel to all just as it had been so cruel to her in the last few years. She never wanted her children to suffer as she had.

Baring a breast, Yumi began to nurse from her.

It was always a powerful feeling for her to nurse her children. With only her body, she was able to protect and nourish the fragile lives that she had grown inside of her. It was something that she would never tire of doing for them.

Yumi smelled so sweet and clean to Kagome, a smell that was unique to her baby. A tear came to Kagome's eye as she thought of how she had almost missed her chance. The chance to watch all her children grow up and live. She had been ready to let go.

She had been ready to give them to Sesshomaru.

"You're awake."

With a wipe of her hand, the tear was gone and Kagome turned. A beautiful woman in a red kimono stood at the door, her black hair was lovely with a bejeweled hairpin. There was a cautious smile on the woman's face as if she was nervous. It reminded Kagome of herself when she had first come to this time.

Everything had been so new and frightening. She had put on a brave mask to make it seem less so for herself. She could not remember the last time she had just had someone sit with her.

Kagome gave a smile in return and motioned for the woman to join her. The woman did so with caution but stayed away from Mizuki as she sat down on the bed. It was as if the woman had been told to be wary of her and her children. But that made sense to Kagome.

She hadn't been the most reasonable person in the past. She had been no different than a feral animal at times.

"I'm Kagome," she introduced gently.

"I'm Haruto," the woman returned. Her voice and her name made Kagome realize that the woman was a man. It had been so deep and male but Kagome could not stop from staring at the man's chest.  
There was no mistaking those breasts for anything else but what they were. "You're a man, right?"

Haruto nodded nervously in the affirmative.

"Then why…the breasts?" Kagome questioned, blushing red hot as she did.

There was nothing wrong with a man wanting to be a woman in her mind. Still, it was clear to Kagome that Haruto was human; growing breasts should have been impossible. So it begged the question to Kagome's curious mind of how had this man grown them?

"Oh, I'm a concubine in service to my master Saburo. He realized as soon as he saw me that…I hated my body, that I hated being a man." The last part had been whispered as if it was a secret.

It filled Kagome with a pity that anyone would hate themselves in the flesh they were born in. It must have been so hard to live as something he wasn't. It must have been terrible to be forced to live as society demanded him to. No one deserved to be forced to live as something they weren't.

Everyone deserved to live as they were truly meant to.

"When I met my master, I was allowed to become the woman I am," Haruto whispered. "Master Saburo gave me my breasts and when it is time, I will be one of the concubines that will give birth. Many of us look forward to giving him, children."

"So you're here to practice by tending to my babies?"

"Yes, my blooming flower has been tasked with caring for your children, Kagome."

oOo

Saburo watched from the doorway, cautious of any change in Kagome's calm mood. The two women sat and conversed as he watched, ready to step in at a moment's notice. Haruto looked so good there with little Mizuki near her. It would not be long before he gave her children just as she longed.

They had been kissing when they had been alerted by a cry. Haruto had been unable to resist the sound and fled from his kisses. She had been too happy to tend to the children; to help tend to their sleeping mother. She had always been such a kind soul to others, even when they had been cruel to her for her true nature.

It only made him love her all the more.

It had been the right thing to do despite his fear. He had been…afraid of Kagome awaking. The memory of the crumbling throne that had survived thousands of years came to him. It had been falling all around them, how he had fought the urge to run. It had been so hard to fight it. Especially when he had been charged to protect the little life in his arms. Mizuki had deserved better than to see her mother as the monster Kagome had been.

It burned in him that his mother had never helped her. That Kagome had been forced to become that monster.

But it had been a relief to see her become human once more when she held her child. He begged Enma to be allowed to take care of her and all her children. He could not allow his mother around Kagome again. He could not allow her to ignore the woman that so desperately needed help.

He could not allow Sesshomaru the chance to have her again.

"So you're here to practice by tending to my babies?"

He couldn't stop himself at her words. "Yes, my blooming flower has been tasked with caring for your children, Kagome."

She turned to look at him. He had expected to see the same hostile that she had given him before. Instead, there was a curiosity in her beautiful gaze; this woman was not the one that he first met. This was a stranger but still a possible danger.

He moved cautiously to Haruto's side, who gave him a happy and cheerful smile. It filled Saburo with a desire to kiss the sweet lover that he could no longer ignore. Sweeter than honey as well as filled with the same passion that was always there for him. How he wanted to do more to her.

He wanted to pin her to the bed, unwrap her of the beautiful silk that covered her.

He wanted to touch his blooming flower's milky white skin, to worship it as she deserved. His mouth was parched for the sweet milk that filled her breasts. He longed to stroke the part that was still male. To tease it to harden in one hand as he lubed the hole between her legs.

But he resisted and just gave her a sweet kiss. He could not take his sweet lover in front of Kagome. Haruto would have thought nothing of it; had enjoyed it in the past with their other lovers in his harem.  
It would not do though with Kagome. Not when the trauma she had suffered still so fresh. He had little doubt that she had never been willing in her own…experiences.

That knowledge burned him like a brand.

"I met you before," she said. Her cheeks were so red from watching them.

"Yes, I'm Saburo…How are you feeling?"

She gave him a shy, wary smile that told him so much. "Pretty good compared…to before."

He grimaced at her words. She had been so different from what he had seen of her. She was damaged in ways that he hadn't seen but knew was there. There were so many scars in her heart from everything. It only served to show him the debt his family owe her. They were meant to protect her, help her and his own mother hadn't. She turned her back on her duty.

"I pledge to help you and yours for the rest of my life. My life for yours and your bloodline forever more."

Kagome stared at him as if he had grown another head. He didn't blame her for it. She had grown up with another culture, woefully different from his own. There was no need for her to know that the oath he gave her was everlasting. Or so binding that he would forever know when she needed him or protection. It would be the children with all her children as well as her descendants. His life was forever tied to her family.

He would forever be the guardian of her bloodline, knowing every member that would ever be born from her. But in truth, he was a servant to her in all ways just as he was to Enma. Unlike Enma though, she had no need to know that yet.

She would realize it herself when the time was right.


	3. Chapter 3: Heal

Chapter 3: Heal

 _The thrusting was deep and hard, almost punishing at moment but it was never-ending. He had always been like that when he was with her. He had always been an animal in his lust; an animal that did something to her._

 _His hands played with her body as if it was an instrument that he had mastered long ago. His tongue and lips for kisses on her against her will. He was doing everything he wanted to her just as he always had. He was doing things that she never wanted. He forced pleasure on her, filling her as he did._

 _It was something that she hated and had wanted to avoid. Yet her sex was dripping wet as he drove inside of her. It still disgusted her to know that her body responded to him. Why had her body responded to him before like it was now? It tormented her to be forced to feel that unwanted pleasure._

 _A pleasure that came from his hands, tongue and the thing that was thrusting between her legs. "You want this."_

 _There was such certainty in his voice, in his words that he knew she wanted what he did to her. He had never known though. He had always thought he knew what she wanted and what she felt. But he never had. He had never known what SHE had felt._

 _"No, I don't want this! I never wanted this! I never wanted you, Sesshomaru!" She screeched at him._

 _But he had never understood that. No one had; they all told her over and over to be grateful for his attention. They had never thought of how they were forcing her into something that she hadn't been ready for. She had just been a thing to them…she was still just a thing to him._

 _His gold eyes turned blood red at her words. His lips twisted into a mocking smile as if her words had been a funny joke. It was then that he lifted his hand to allow her to see, it only served to bring tears to her eyes._

 _His fingers were coated in her wet, so much so that it was dripping off._

 _It filled her with shame that her body wanted it…wanted him._

She woke with tears in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. It had all been a nightmare. A Nightmare that was infused with her memories of what they had done together.

Her body hummed and begged though, wanting more of what she had been dreaming. It was sick that her body wanted more when her mind was in shocked of it all. She just wanted it all to stop. She wanted to be free of the drug her body begged for.

It took her a moment for her to notice but she was not alone. Haruto and another person stood over her, shaking as they gripped her arms. Their eyes were filled with fear as they stared down at her. She couldn't understand why though.

oOo  
Sesshomaru stared at the demons before him, they demanded his children and their mother from him. They had no right to his family! They were the reason that he had lost everything that was important in his life.

He could not kill them as he desired. Not with his family being kept from him by his cousin. Raged burned in him that he was kept at bay from those that he loved. They should have been with him in the mortal realm instead of trapped in hell, far from his reach.

His mind replayed the memory of finding his children gone and his cousin there in their place.

 _Enma had sat there in the red and gold robes of royalty. His long red hair was tied in a braid. His eyes were pure black with rage; they looked so alike that one could tell they were blood._

 _Sesshomaru had never met his cousin on his mother's side, had never cared to. Yet the blood and power in them recognized that they were kin. Sesshomaru felt nothing for him._

 _What was he to feel when everything that he loved had died before his eyes. Enma had nothing to be angry about when he had been the one to lose Kagome. He was the one that had returned to find his children gone._

 _"What do you want?"_

 _"Nothing…I have simply come to inform you that I expectations of you now," Enma said._

 _Sesshomaru glared at the demon. He had no intentions of following Enma's expectations of him. His cousin had no rights to order him around like he was something weak. It was true that Enma was his ruler and that all demons of the mortal realm were servants of his. But Sesshomaru had never been one to be a servant of another._  
 _He refused to bow to anyone._

 _He was one of the Great lords of the mortal realm just as his father was before him. Mizuki would possibly be the one to inherit his title when he was gone._

 _"Where are my children?"_

 _"With their mother."_

 _Sesshomaru's insides twisted at his cousin's words. They had gone to join their mother…they could not be dead as well, could they? He was still badly wounded from Kagome, his arm still barely attached to him. It did not stop him from attacking Enma._

 _His whip went through his cousin though as if he was not there. It only served to enrage Sesshomaru all the more. "_ _ **WHERE IS MY FAMILY?!**_ _"_

 _"Save in my realm with their mother as I had said. They are all alive so calm yourself, cousin."_

 _Sesshomaru could not be calmed; his family was being kept from him by the demon before him. A demon who was lying to him about Kagome. His heart pained him at the thought of her gone from his side forever more._

 _Everything inside of him ached at the thought of her death, the image of her slicing her throat. He longed to join her in death; but he had a duty to see their children survive before he could._

 _She would have expected him to care for their children, to see them grown. It would be too much for him to endure._

 _They would all grow up to look just like their mother with time. They would all be living reminders of the woman that he loved and lost. Sesshomaru loved his heart with all his heart but the reminder would be too much for him._

 _Too much when he could not be in the same realm as the one he loved. It mattered not if she refused to return to his side. It would be enough for him to just be able to see her._

 _He needed to die so that he could be with her, see her and apologize to her._

 _"_ _ **Do not lie to me. Kagome is dead…I SAW HER DIE BEFORE MY VERY EYES!**_ _"_

 _A smirk came to Enma's lips at Sesshomaru's words as if he knew a secret. The twisting inside of Sesshomaru only twisted all the tighter at the sight of it. "Kagome's flesh lives but her soul…has been rejecting her body."_

 _Sesshomaru turned to stone, crumbled to his knees for the will to stand was gone. Kagome was alive but rejected herself because of him. Rejected herself because she had no desire to return to him. Kagome preferred death than to chance of ever seeing him again._

 _It was another wound inflicted upon his heart and soul to know that. He had no one but himself to blame for this reaction on her part._

 _Everything was his fault. Memories of Kagome at his brother's side filled his mind, plague him like a diseased city that refused to let go of life. All her joy and happiness had been at Inuyasha's side and with their children. Her tears were all he deserved for all the pain that he gave her._

 _Enma watched him like a child watching an interesting insect but it was nothing to him. Sesshomaru just turned his eyes to the ground, wish that his body would die soon. He was truly dead inside without her._

 _"I can return her to you."_

 _Sesshomaru's head snapped up at Enma's words. The smirk grew bigger; it reminded him of a cat at the cream. He was too desperate for those words to be true to care. "What do you want from me?"_

 _"The demons of the mortal realm have forgotten who rules them. They also have forgotten why I put the council in power in the first place," Enma said calmly. "They as well as you have abused the power that I give…your mate is proof enough of that."_

 _"I love her," Sesshomaru said without pause. He would have cut out his heart for her without a second thought to it._

 _"Your love was a poison to her. It twisted and chocked her very being until she was no longer the person you knew."_

 _There was nothing for Sesshomaru to say to those words. They were the truth after all._

 _"You will gather the council and bring them to me alive."_

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru looked to the lord that had shouted his name. It had drawn him from memory of a few days ago to back to the present.  
The Lord noticed that he had Sesshomaru's attention on him and used it to his advantage. "Will you allow my eldest son to mate with your daughter or not?"

He was so sick of hearing that. His daughters were nothing to be bought or sold. They were not to become broodmares to others' lusts. They were to live their lives as they desired. They were all above the lords that sat across from him in every way.

All his children were above the fools.

oOo

"How is she doing?" Enma questioned as he bathed. The bath cleansed him of the wounds that Kagome had inflicted in her sleep. So many had been wounded by her but there had not been a single death. It was as if her unconscious-self had sought to punish rather than kill.

It told him much about the who Kagome was as a person.

"She has been told about what she has done…she is quite shaken by it."

Enma turned to his love, who stood in the doorway and avoided looking at his flesh. She was such a timid thing and always so proper as her culture instead on.

She was unlike a human woman he had ever seen before with an appearance of golden hair and pale blue eyes. If not for her scent and holy powers, he would have thought she was a demon. It was alluring and rare but it meant little to him. The person that his sweet Emma was more seductive than a sea of beautiful females.

He held out his hand, bidding her to come to him. She just stood there at the door though, a lovely red blush came to her cheeks. It made him hunger for her."Come to me, my sweet."

She shyly went to his side, never looking at his bare flesh as she did. Other females stared openly at his flesh as if it was a grand meal was placed before them. It was something that he had greatly disliked. So much that he preferred to only have sex with his concubines when he was dressed.

With Emma, that preference disappeared and gave birth to a need to be closer to her. Taking her with nothing between them was glorious to him. It had been a great struggle for them to come together with their feelings in those early days. But it all has been worth the bliss that they now lived in.

There was something in her eyes that worried him. "What is wrong?"

A sad look appeared within her eyes. "She is quite like the women of my country…like my past self."

He thought of how she had been when he had first met her. The anger and pain that filled her were not unlike Kagome's. He had helped Emma then just as he would help Kagome now.

"It won't be for long, my sweet. We will help her heal."

Chapters 4, 5 and 6 are on my blog if you all want to read ahead after this one :)


	4. Chapter 4: Need

Chapter 4: Need

Tea was set before her but Kagome couldn't bring herself to drink it. It was hot to the touch and would have warmed her if she sipped it.

She wanted to feel the cold that ate her up inside. She had hurt so many that were innocent when she had that dream of Sesshomaru. It had been so wrong…everything felt so wrong.

How her stomach knotted at the thought of what he had done to her. She had always hated how he made her body respond and enjoy what he did to her. It felt sick…twisted to enjoy what he forced on her, raping her against her will. Still, Sesshomaru had always made sure that she enjoyed it.

Who would enjoy being raped?

"Someone that hurts others in their sleep apparently," Kagome muttered to herself.

She reached out and the tea to still be burning to the touch. Taking the cup in hand, she was filled with the desire to punish herself. She had done so much wrong and needed some way to punish herself for those that she had hurt.

Kagome needed to punish herself for responding as well. Because it was so wrong and so twisted that her body would ever react to what Sesshomaru had forced on her.

"Don't even think about it, Kagome."

Kagome watched as Emma sat down across from her and took the cup from her hands. There was a stern look in Emma's eyes with disapproval that came off her in waves. She was older than Kagome by a few years. But Kagome had learned long ago that age did not equal wisdom.

That wasn't the case with Emma though.

She had helped Haruto when she had just woken up. Both of them had stared down at her with fear in their eyes. But it had been fear for her as much as fear of her.

Just as then, there was something about the woman that whispered to her that Emma was a survivor. That was something that made them even more different from each other. The only thing that was the same about them was that they both had holy power. Kagome could not feel it before when she had been travelling with her friends but now she could. She could feel when someone with holy powers around her now…almost all the humans that were alive here had holy power.

Looking at Emma, made Kagome feel so unsure of herself. Yet it felt like she couldn't be sure of anything anymore. She always felt so lost now. Kagome had felt more herself, the person that she had once been when she had revived. Yet the dream, her body responding against her will and the knowledge that she had hurt those people had taken it from her.

Kagome felt so lost within herself.

"It's never easy in the beginning. I know it wasn't for me, I felt lost and angry in a new land," Emma said softly. There was a sad look within Emma's pale blue eyes at those words.

They were like the sky losing its colour before a storm. It only made Kagome wonder what this woman had gone through.

"You can't stay angry and lost forever. You're human like me and that means you will heal with time."

Kagome thought about those words. She had changed so much, evolved as a person with her friends, fighting Naraku. Even with Sesshomaru, she had evolved, changed. Unlike with her friends though, she felt weaker for it.

It had been like she was clay, raw with potential. She was shaped by her family and friends, ready for the kiln when Sesshomaru had taken her. His touch destroyed who she had become, forcing her to fit his mold.

How it had broken her.

"If I can't heal with time?" Kagome questioned.

"I would say you die but that doesn't seem to work with you," Emma replied.

It was the truth. Sesshomaru's sword should have killed her. It was meant to kill everything yet she healed with only a scar that remained. It felt as if the world had turned its back on her. It so often felt like she wasn't the person that she had been.

She craved to be that person once more.

It was something that Emma seemed to notice. "You will never be the person that you were before…no one can be when they have been raped."

"You talk about it like you were raped too."

"Oh yes, I had been given to a lord of these lands as a gift."

oOo  
Enma watched them. They appeared as two beautiful young women in a garden of red blooms. But he knew the truth about them. One of them was the mate of his cousin and the other was his heart.

Both were scarred by the actions and deeds of others. It enraged him that his own blood kin would have done such things. It also made him so ashamed.

Taking and using others had been his father's way, rotting almost all of his family in doing so. He had been one of the few that had escaped before the rot could taint him. His two older brothers and sister were the others.

The rest had died for a father that had never cared.

The children were lucky to have a mother that did. Enma knew that Kagome had been sick before. That sickness had driven her to that desperate act. Though that sickness clung to her, refusing to let her go, he could see that she would overcome it.

It would just take time for her to do that. He would have to see that she was given that time.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

He smiled at the question his love asked of him. She was the only person that would ever ask him a question like that. Others would just wait at his side for days if he decided to stand there for that long. She was bold in front of all but him. She watched him her timid side when it was only them.

"I think I will for a little while longer."

"How about you come and meet Kagome instead," Emma insisted.  
His smile got bigger as she stood and came to him. There was a beautiful smile on her lips but her eyes were filled with sadness. It hurt to see that sadness in her eyes. It had been there when he has first met her.

Along with the rage.

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a sweet kiss before following her to Kagome. She was beautiful in her dark blue kimono with white lilies; Emma outshone her. Every female was outshone by his golden maiden. But he would still help this beautiful woman for the fact that his family wrong her so gravely.

"It is a pleasure to meet you…again, Kagome," He said it with a smile.  
She frowned at him, which told him that she remembered nothing of what had happened. It was surprising to him, to say the least since he had been badly wounded by her. It only heartened him to like her since it had been centuries when he last had a challenge in battle.

"It's nice to meet you as well…"

"Enma," he told her.

Her eyes went wide at his words before screaming excitedly. Both he and Emma flinched at it but wasn't surprised when she ran off.

"Well…that was fun."

"You're not that scary," Emma commented.

"No, I'm not but my father was and he was…brutal in the best of moods." Thoughts of his father's reign filled Enma's mind, reminding him of all the wrong that he had done to his realm and the people within.

So many were tormented and tortured for the littlest things. The worst was done to those that had been victims in their lives before death. Just the thought of those poor souls burned him forever.

"Can I have your autograph?" Kagome begged when she suddenly reappeared with everything needed for it.

oOo

Nori sighed at the humiliation that she was forced to endure. Sitting behind Takashi, waiting to refill his cup of sake as if she was a mere servant. she longing for when he was beating her, it was far less humiliating. Still, it was a small victory to herself that he no longer sought to touch her and take her himself.

She took such delight as well as disgust that Takashi was terrified by his father's mate. She had been one that had grown up with the belief that family was sacred, to be protected. The father was the center and his heir only became so when he was gone.

Setsuna's mate had died years before and despite the fact that Takashi was a concubine's son…he was still the heir. It had been Setsuna's duty to see that her mate's heir would be worthy of his title. To Nori's cold gaze, it was clear that Setsuna had failed.

She had forever been a child; Setsuna had expected everything to be like it was in hell. Yet she never gave a thought to what it meant to be mated to a lord of the mortal realms.

It gave Nori such joy to know her old rival had suffered. The only thing to make it all the better would be for Setsuna to die.

Still, Nori needed her alive for the moment. It would make things easier in corrupting Takashi's life home and life.

"Give me more, bitch." Nori glared at Takashi for the order. He ignored her with his cup held before her as he listened to his spies. It disgusted her to do it but she went to the motions of doing what she had been ordered to do.

It felt bittersweet to pour sake.

The last time that she had done so had been for her beloved. It was a bitter memory for her since he had taken her heart and shattered it with the truth. It had been the night that he had told her that he loved a human princess.

Those words were daggers to her heart. He had been loyal to her as she had been to him for so long. He had been the first to take her, to love her and then he threw it all in her face. It was not the worst part of that night.

The true betrayal was when he told her that his human princess was pregnant with his child.

It had been the one and only time that she hated herself for what she was. That her mate's lover had conceived so easily had made her so unhappy to be a demon.

It made her hate them. Her hate for humans had burned her inside for so long that she had been blinded by it.

Until her son taught her a lesson. Seeing Sesshomaru with Kagome and Rin had slowly killed that hatred. Her son's love for Kagome had slowly helped to heal her from the betrayal as well.

"Gone? Gone where? Where is Kagome?" Takashi screeched like a child.

In a rage, he threw his cup of sake at her, breaking it and soaked her in the alcohol. His eyes were crazed as he stared at his spies.

"She died, my lord. Driven to take her own life with Sesshomaru's sword."

Nori's heart stopped as those words filled her thoughts. Kagome was gone. It would drive Sesshomaru to kill himself, which meant that she needed to leave more than ever before.

Her grandchildren needed her.

oOo

Emma stared at the love of her life as he undressed. He was a glorious sight to behold. It was hard to believe that he wanted her, that he had made her his mate.

If being with him was a sin then she would happily stay in hell after death. But Emma knew that she didn't deserve him though.

After all, she was a bastard and tainted by the touch of that lord. Even if Enma had returned her virginal state to her before deflowering her himself. It did not change the fact that she was forever tainted by another.

But he didn't care.

"What are you thinking right now, my sweet?" Enma asked as he walked towards her.

"That your naked flesh is beautiful," she said softly. Enma grimaced at her words like he always did when she called him beautiful.

He was beautiful, inside and out to her. "I'm not the beautiful, my sweet."

"Yes, you are."

"Are not."

"Yes, you are."

"Are not."

"Only a beautiful demon can touch me, she informed him.

"I'm a beautiful demon," he relented before he pounced on her.

He ripped the silk from her and kissed her skin gently like it was the softest of silks. It was heaven to feel him touch her, to feel her. It was like nothing that she had ever felt before, serving only to make her fall deeper for him.

She whimpered at how right it felt as he brushed his fingertips against her breasts. Teasing her nipples to harden with those gentle brushes and eager caresses. Her flower wept with desire for him to touch her more, to kiss her with that passion that they shared. "How did your talk with Kagome go?"

His words were like cold water dumped upon her, killing her desire.

"You have terrible timing for questions, Enma."


	5. Chapter 5: Fools

Chapter 5: Fools

Hotaka's arms were wrapped around her as he tried to give her comfort. It was welcome though it did little help.

Her relationship with her older brothers had not been the best in the years since their parents' deaths. They still blamed Goro for what had happened despite the fact that he had been a baby. Their little brother had just been a newborn, he had no control over anything at that terrible time.

It had always felt like her older brothers had been ashamed of their parents' last symbol of love.

"Do you want me with you?" Hotaka asked softly.

"No." She needed to do this on her own.

Though her older brothers had a better relationship with her mate, it was time. She was sick of them being children and refusing to knowledge Goro as their blood. It was time to channel some of their mother's spirit and teach her brothers a lesson.

She had raised Goro as if he was her firstborn. Plagued by their parents' death just as her brothers were, she never regretted what the outcome. If she did then she would be no different from them and it would only serve to hurt Goro.

"You all have trouble getting along, Rie…You almost ripped off Daichi's leg last time," Hotaka muttered.

She remembered that he had called Goro a filthy beast. As a mother, it was something that she could not allow to go unpunished. When she attacked him, Daiki and Daisuke had jumped in to help. It had ended badly for them just as it always had when they had been children. "Daichi deserved it, insulting Goro like that was unforgivable."

"He's still hurting, my love."

"So am I! But that did not mean I will let myself filled with it! I was forced to move on and to live when I just wanted to cry!" She shouted at him before she broke out of his hold.

It hurt to remember how they had been before everything happened. They all had been so close before…it was like the lost had ripped holes in all of them. Her older brothers had been the kindest and caring males that she had ever known until they lost their parents. The loss had been too great for them and it so often felt as if they were twisted by those dark days.

They needlessly blamed a newborn for deaths there were out of his control. They were all orphans but they still had the memories to heal them by.

Goro did not even have those.

"Was mating me that hard for you?" There was such pain in his voice when he asked.

"Oh yes…but it was worth it in the end. After all, you made me fall in love with you, you arrogant ass." She kissed him then, feeling that they both needed it.

"Please tell me that we won't have to see you two start mating?"

Rie twisted to see her three oldest brothers, Daisuke, the twins Daiki and Daichi stood there. All three looked were the spitting image of their father. It almost hurt to look at them and see their father in them.

They stood there in the doorway to their home, looking cautious of entering. It only served to make her feel more in control since it was clear that her brothers remembered last time as well.

She went to them and gave each one a hug before guiding them to sit down. Daisuke, the eldest of all her siblings was the first to speak. "What do you want, Rie?"

"Going to be direct are we, Daisuke?" She asked as she motioned a servant to serve tea.

Hotaka stayed in the room with them, most likely to protect her brothers from her but did not sit with them. Her love probably did not want her rage redirected at him if he spoke.

"Yes since we barely talk unless you want something from us."

"Or want to take something out on us," Daichi mumbled. A glare in his direction had him shut his mouth and hide behind his older twin, Daiki. He had always been the first to run his mouth, something that had always reminded their mother of their father.

"I want to talk with you all about Nori's son."

"Sesshomaru? I have heard that he has surpassed his father already…it is true?" Daisuke asked.

She hadn't expected her brothers to know about Sesshomaru since they had all abandoned their home in the mortal realm so long ago. All her brothers had left and gone to hell along with her to make a life there. Many of them served their lord, Enma as generals.

"It is but he's still very young. He needs aid to protect his family," Rie informed them.

"His family? I thought he was only 300 years old…that's rather young to be starting a family."

"The curse has made it hard if not impossible for those that live in the mortal realm to have children…Nori had hundreds of miscarriages and stillborns before Sesshomaru." The memories of her friend suffering for countless years in the attempt to have a child of her own. It had been so hard to watch when she knew that she never suffered like that. "Daughters are rare among those children that have survived birth."

"Sounds like a just punishment has been placed upon them then," Daichi said.

Rie glared at her brother then. A just punishment? It was not a just punishment but rather a cruel one that no one truly deserved to suffer under. Especially not the children that were killed by it in their mother's wombs. "You're so wrong about that, brother."

"Our mother cursed them for a reason, Rie."

"Yes, I know but that does not mean that little children, little girls should be used as breeders. Because that's what they do now…They use females like cattle in the hope of having more children. A young woman suffered even now for it!" She snarled at her brothers. How she wished that she had done more to help Kagome before.

But her words fell upon deaf ears as always.

"Our mother did what needed to be done," Daiki said.

"So you think it's alright for mothers to be weeping over their dead children? Because I do not remember our mother being cruel!"

"Enough!" Daisuke ordered.

Rie glared at all three of them for the stupidity that they were displaying to her. Their mother had not been in her right mind after losing her mate and done some terrible things in her grief.

Looking at her brothers…she knew that she couldn't stay there anymore. They were so blind that nothing that she would say would reach them.

The servant came with their tea but Rie just stood and left. She couldn't stand to be around them anymore.

oOo

Enma stared out at the sea of faces that stared at him. This was a battle that he was all too familiar with; a battle that he had won countless times before. "I am disappointed in all of you."

"Master Enma…what have we done to disappoint you?" A nameless face asked him.

Rage filled him at the question asked. It should have been clear to all what had him disappointed in them but then he was dealing with fools. He had been in power for one short century, the demons before him should have been aware that they did not know. It was his fault for not changing things sooner but then he had been changing a whole realm.

He had installed the council to make things easier for him. It was enraging that that had not been the case; he needed to be more hands on.

"I have heard tales of a priestess in Sesshomaru's care. Is it true that all of you having been trying to use her and her children?" He questioned, dismissing the nameless face's question.

The demons muttered around him, surprised by his question. They had not expected him to care about a simple human woman. They were fools to believe that, for he cared very much. They were no better than the monster that had almost destroyed his sweet Emma.

Flames burst into life around him at the thought. they danced violently with his rage, begging to kill those that surrounded him.

All reacted to the demons leaped away, afraid of what he could do to them. All but Sesshomaru, who stood there in defiance with his golden gaze blood red. It was almost as if Sesshomaru believed that he had a right to be angry with him when that was not the case.

Enma thought of Kagome, who looked almost lifeless and lost when she was alone. It was as if she knew not what she was any more like she was a shapeless being. She looked to regain her lost shape, her true self but he knew that it was lost forever. He would never understand how his own flesh and blood could do that to another.

"She is a powerful being that has been broken by all that are present before me," he said calmly. "In punishment, you all must come to my realm and beg forgiveness on your knees to her."

There was an outcry at his order but he would not be moved from it. They would all go or they would suffer death for their insolence. "I will not be moved from this decision."

With those words spoken, his flames attacked. The demons went on the defence but it was no use as his flames consumed a few like a hungry beast. Their screams were sweet music in a symphony of agony; it made him wish that he had brought Kagome with him. Yet it would be ill-advised with her recovery to see his cousin.

"I will send messengers when it is time for you to come so that will be all."

oOo

Sesshomaru battled the flames to follow Enma out. He would not allow Enma to leave until he gave his family back to him. Escaping the burning room, he followed Enma into the hallway. "STOP!"

Enma ignored him and continued to walk down the hall as if nothing had been said at all. Anger filled every part of Sesshomaru as he moved swiftly to stand in Enma's way.

Enma stopped with a look as if he was standing before something disgusting. But Sesshomaru could care less; he only cared to have his family returned to him. "Return them now."

"I cannot," Enma told him calmly.

" **I think you mean that you will not rather than cannot,** " Sesshomaru snarled like a feral beast. Gods, he felt as if he was becoming one. He needed Kagome so badly; he wanted to beg forgiveness for all that he had done to her.

He wanted to start anew with her and their children. He would do anything to have her back. He would make any promise, make any oath so long as she would stay near him so that he could protect them. He longed to prove that they were all that mattered to him.

"You're right about that. I will not return them to you, this realm is too dangerous for them right now," Enma informed. "And you are one of the biggest danger to them."

" **I WOULD NEVER HARM THEM!** " Sesshomaru roared at that.

But Enma just stared at him as if he had just spoken a lie. His words confirmed that. "But you already have, Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru struck out at Enma but the blow never landed. Instead, a familiar pain bloomed in his still healing arm; a familiar sight greeted him when he looked.

His arm was gone and only a bloody mess remainder where his arm had been. He stared at it, his thoughts disappearing to when Inuyasha had done the same years before. But it was not long before Enma slammed Sesshomaru into a wall with a bloody hand crushing his throat.

"Listen to me, dog and listen well…Kagome has been scarred horribly by you. So much so that she does not know who she is, so, for now, she will heal under my care," Enma growled, his red eyes turning black. "You may see her and your children only when I allow it, so be a good dog and wait, understood?"

Sesshomaru said nothing and silence fell upon them as tension saturated the air around them. Only when the grip on him threatened to end him did Sesshomaru nod in answer.

Enma threw him away like he was a broken toy. "Good dog."

PS: I'm really sorry for the long wait. Its just been one thing after another in my RL lately. First I'm run ragged by my job and all the new rules then I'm really sick with a cold (still not over it by the way T_T) and worst of all, my blog goes down because a plugin corrupts everything to the point that all my backup become corrupted too (no idea how that happened). My blog is back and running but it will take time for it to be back to where it was before.

Still chapters 6,7 and 8 are up for all of you to read. Please be sure to leave some comments when you go...I lost all my old ones and I still feel like crying about it.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and have a good day!


	6. Chapter 6: Good

Chapter 6: Good

Life was good. Enma felt everything was turning towards the direction that he desired fate to go. He had given a little reminder to the demon lords of the mortal realm who was their ruler. His cousin had been given a small taste of the punishment to come.

Life felt so good; especially since he held Sesshomaru's arm in his hand as proof.

There was one just one black mark that kept life from being perfect. His sweet mate refused to have him in their bed, or allow him the privilege of touching her in any way. He was even refused a hug.

It put him a truly sour mood that his sweet would allow him to touch her. He also knew there was no one to blame for it than himself. He knew that it had been poor timing on his part to ask about Kagome when they were making love. But he was sick with guilt at all that had been done to her.

His father had caused so much harm to others, all that had blood ties to them. He had poisoned them all, to have them be weapons that he could call upon. He was spared only thanks to his mother.

She had saved him and a few of his older siblings from being turned into weapons. She had done it despite the deep love that she had felt for his father. Enma could still remember the look of pain when she stood with them to kill him.

Tears ran down her cheeks as he had ripped his father's heart out of his chest and ate it.

Sesshomaru was no different from his father. A poison that invaded others, slowly killing them day by day. Kagome was Sesshomaru's victim but Enma would see that there would be no more.

He would make sure that the past was not repeated in his family.

"You look happy," Emma said as she suddenly appeared off to the side. She walked to him, taking note of the severed arm that he held in his hand. There was a glow in her eyes that reminded him of when she had killed that lord.

Timid though his sweet could be, he loved the bloodthirsty side that had been forged by her tormentor. It was the survivor in her that filled him with pride even though he loved every part of her.

"Gave my cousin a taste of his punishment to come."

Standing before him, he wasn't surprised when she grabbed his bangs to force his head down to her level. The kiss that she gave filled him with the desire to take her in that moment.

He dropped Sesshomaru's arm and wrapped his arms around Emma, he lifted her up. His desire gripped him like a feral beast raging for its mate; Emma responded in kind. Growling and snarling into the kisses that locked their lips in a furious battle.

He held her against the wall when he felt the burn of her power. He snarled in outrage as his mate tried to deny him what he wanted. But he released her as she desired, bound by his honour as well as their mating vows.

The glow in her eyes only shone brighter as if in defiance of the desire that rode them both so hard. "You want me?" She questioned softly. "Then show me in our bed."

Without another thought or word, he had her in his arms once more and raced. He raced to their bedchamber as fast as he could, kissed her as he did. He needed her in the only a male could need that female that completed him. He gave her everything that she gave him in return.

Their tongues warred in that way that only lovers knew that demanded more and more. Gods, it made him want more of her, to feel nothing but her.

He slammed the door shut when they reached their bedchamber and gently placed her on their bed.

She was the most lovely being that he had ever set eyes upon. Her beauty only grew as the years when by and she became stronger; she was nothing like she had once been. The broken, angry state that she had been was gone. All that remained was the reforged woman that would glare down anyone.

He unwrapped her of her kimono like the gift that she was but was careless with his own.

oOo

Sesshomaru burns the wound with his poison. The loss of an arm was nothing to him, he had lost it before to his brother. But the loss of Kagome and his children burned inside of him like hellfire. He would need to grow stronger if he wanted them back.

Enma was blood but was not family. Sesshomaru would have no regrets killing the ruler of hell.

He turned back down the hall. He needed allies for the wars that would come; he would conquer all to gain his family.

Enma believed himself the ruler of the mortal realm but Sesshomaru would show him. He would show Enma was not the true ruler mortal realm. But hell would be his as well. He would take everything from Enma just as everything had been taken from him.

Younger and less experience would not be his disadvantage in the battle of wills that they would have.

Reentering the room, Sesshomaru unsheathed Tenseiga. The blade was one meant to cut down the creatures of hell and all that came from the realm. He had been weak since Kagome had taken her life, was no different than his brother. But he was so much stronger than Inuyasha.

He would take Kagome and their children back even if it meant that hell would be ruined by it.

The flames that Enma had unleashed raged around the room like a tiger killing for the pleasure of death. Demons cried out in pain and drew their last breaths as they were consumed by the flames. It was something that needed to stop.

"I will be clear…follow Enma and you will die," Sesshomaru informed as he swung Tenseiga through the flames. The flames rushed to escape but some died from the sword's touch. They moved and dodged as Sesshomaru battled them. As he slain the last of the flames, Sesshomaru told all. "Follow me and I will allow you the chance to live."

With last of the flame dead and gone, all fell silent.

He had slain the flames in his father's fang, he would learn the lesson that his father left. He was a father now as well and his children needed him to be strong. He thought of that night when he had seen his father last.

He had been such a foolish child that knew nothing. He was still a foolish child that knew nothing yet he would not allow that to hold him back. He had not truly learned that lesson even when he had thought that he had. It was time though, to learn.

He would learn or die in the attempt.

The silence was suddenly broken by the deafening outcry of support for him. He simply left, it was only the first step taken…there were countless more than waited for him.

His father had been a good one and he would have to work hard to be the same. He would also have to work even harder to be the lover than Kagome deserved.

oOo

Kagome walked down the halls towards kitchens, she wanted to be of help. She had never been the cook that her mother had been but it had been soothing. She wanted to be just as good as her mother for her own children. It would also help to have something to do again…music had become an unhappy hobby.

She had never been allowed to cook when trapped in the palace. She hadn't been allowed to do so many things; life had felt so lifeless. She wanted to feel like she was living again and this felt like something that would connect her again to her mother.

How she craved to see her family again the modern era but that wasn't possible. At least, it didn't feel possible yet.

Cooking would be a good start for her or so she thought.

Kagome stopped when she saw Sesshomaru's arm on the floor. She just stared at it, lost in a sea of emotion and pain.

Was this the arm that he lost in Inuyasha's father's tomb? Or was it the one that he now had? She could not understand why the sight of it caused her pain.

She did not wish Sesshomaru harm or even hated him when she knew that she had the right. He had done so much to her against her will. Hurt her, abused her and used her as if that had been his right.

Her hand touched the scars that he had placed on her back, tears flooded at the memory. She had been a thing to him. His sex toy and baby maker had been what he had tried to make her. Taking things away from her to try and break her little by little. All in his attempt to make her fit into his life.

A sob escaped from her as she was plagued by that memory. His claws sinking into her back so deep, how her blood had flowed free under his claws. Most people would hate him for what he had done.

Yet she couldn't.

She couldn't hate Sesshomaru no matter how much she tried. She had wounded him, told him what he was and yet Kagome could not bring herself to hate him.

How she missed Inuyasha and she had once wanted a life with him. But he wasn't the answer, he hadn't saved her like she had hoped. Like Sesshomaru, Kagome could not hate him.

She couldn't hate anyone for what happened to her. Not even herself for being unable to stop any of it.

She just cried as she stared at his arm, lying there on the floor.

It all just felt so wrong.

oOo

"You're still in trouble, you know," Emma mumbled softly. She snuggled against Enma's bare chest, he was the perfect pillow after lovemaking. He was still inside her, softening from their session of lovemaking.

"How do I make it up to you, my sweet love?" Enma questioned her.

She knew he was plagued with guilt over all that had happened. But that did not mean that Enma could allow it to affect their lives. They both deserved a happy life without their nightmares taking life again.

"You'll know it when you see it…you always do."

"Mind telling me what got me out of the pit this time then?" He questioned her.

She turned to look at him, looked into the eyes that had saved her and loved her. He had become her saviour and her lover, giving her what she had needed more than anything else in life. He had allowed her the ability to move on by helping her kill the lord that had used her.

The memory was a sweet one in her mind.

The feel of the blade slowly cutting off small pieces of the lord's member was one she cherished so. She cherished it as much as when she had fed those pieces to the lord.

To many, they had seen her as a cruel being for that alone. It had been healing for her to get revenge on the one that had raped her. It allowed her to move past what had been done to her. Especially when the same happened to that lord in hell.

"You're thinking of that lord again," Enma stated calmly. They both knew that Enma approved of what she had done to that monster.

"Yes." There was no point in lying. "Will Kagome be allowed the same?"

He held her tighter and quite peacefully fell on them. It told her so much even if no words were spoken between them. Her love was thinking of doing something to his blood that would be far worse than what she had done. "I'm going to love it, aren't I?"

"Of course, my sweet," he whispered into her ear.

It felt good to be alive for moments like those.


	7. Chapter 7: Question

Chapter 7: Question

He never expected it when he walked down the hall with plans to meet his brothers. Yet as his mother had always told him, life and fate loved to throw the unexpected into your path. Still, he would have preferred to fight invading monsters than to find Kagome crying.

He really wasn't expecting to see her crying over a severed arm at that.

Saburo was quick to go to her side. He went to his knees beside her on the floor but he dared not touch her. Her power was like a caged animal, ready to strike at the slightest touch. "Kagome…what's wrong?"

"I should hate him," she whispered with an almost haunted look in her eyes. "I should hate him but I can't. Why can't I hate him?"

"Hate who?" He asked though he felt he already knew. He had always felt that she had every right to hate Sesshomaru but Kagome had been so different. He was sure that the feral woman that she had once been had hated Sesshomaru. The Kagome before him though was completely different from that woman.

She was a wounded woman just as she had been before. She was healing despite those wounds, becoming the person that she had once been before. Still, it was not an easy one for her and he knew that.

Seeing Kagome work towards healing for the last month showed him that she wanted to move past everything. Seeing Kagome like showed Saburo that Kagome nowhere ready to return to her realm.

"Is this his arm?" He asked softly.

She said nothing but nodded in answer.

"Okay, I'll see about getting rid of it then…but first, why don't we go back to your chambers?"

"No…no, the babies are with your lovers and I don't think I can be alone right now." She looked so vulnerable that he knew that he could not leave her alone. It also felt wrong to leave her alone when she needed someone by her side to help.

So Saburo did the only thing that he could do.

He picked up Kagome and continued down the hall, all the while Kagome buried her face in his chest. She had been so quiet when she had been crying on the floor yet now it was like she couldn't anymore.

Her quiet sobs grew in sound as if even she knew not the pain that filled her. Holding her as she cried, hurt something inside of him. Saburo was a protector and caregiver by nature, Kagome's pain called to those pieces of himself. He was unable to do anything about it; he was incapable of changing the past.

It was beyond his power to save her from the wounds that continued to harm her.

"I…I just don't…understand…should I hate him? Why…can I not hate him?" It was a question that he could not answer for her since she was the only one that knew why.

He needed something to make her stop, to have her calm down. So he asked her something out of the blue. "Do you have any siblings?"

The question was completely unexpected to her, he could feel it in the stillness that fell upon her. It was a few minutes so he just kept walking with her in his arms. "I have a baby brother…He would be around fourteen or fifteen by now."

"Almost a man then," He muttered.

Kagome gave a watery laugh at that. It was a welcome sound to him. "He's just a little kid still…long way off from that."

"They grow up faster than you would expect, trust me. I got more brothers and sisters than anyone you know," he informed softly. If you were to ask him, he would say too many but then again, he wouldn't trade a single one away. He was lucky to have the large family that he had been born into. "Your parents didn't want any more kids after you two?"

"My father died…my mom never remarried after."

He didn't know what to say to that. It just meant that Kagome had survived through more than he or anyone knew.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he whispered.

"Don't be…my dad was amazing and he set the example of what a father and husband should be."

oOo

He wandered aimlessly, allowing his feet to be his guide. Wandering the land had once been so soothing to him like holding Mizuki until she fell asleep in his arms. He ached for the endless walk to be as soothing as holding his child but he knew that it never would. He had been so weak before.

He needed to be strong again as he had been when he travelled the land looking for Naraku. He had gained so allies but they were not the true allies that he had during that final battle. They would turn on him in a moment for gain and survival.

He needed those that were loyal to Kagome and their children. Her friends were his only choice; they would likely turn on him the moment that his family was safe. That meant little to him, he was more than willing to die for her as well as their children.

She deserved his loyalty and his life after everything that had happened between them. He had wronged her, he needed to make amends to her for it.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin's voice called out.

He turned, finding himself in his brother's forest and Rin walking towards him with a basket of mushrooms in her arms. He stared at her, barely recognizing the child that had travelled with him years ago. She had grown a great deal since he had last seen her; he was reminded of Kagome.

They looked so alike at that age but Rin could never have that sparkle of defiance in Kagome that refused to die. It was that sparkle that he now realized had made him fall in love with Kagome in the beginning.

"Hello Rin, you appear well."

She smiled at him with such happiness as she had always done. Would she had been happy if she had been in Kagome's place for the last two years? He had always thought of her as a daughter in ways but as he stood there, he thought of the differences between her and Kagome. Kagome could read, write, play music and was well educated…everything that Rin was not.

Was that difference why Kagome had never been happy with him? There were so many questions within him that would not gain an answer. The answers that he sought were within himself as well as Kagome.

"Lord Sesshomaru, it is so good to see you, my lord. How are Kagome and your daughter? Have they been well?" Rin asked.

"No…that is why I'm here."


	8. Chapter 8: Moving Forward

Chapter 8: Moving Forward

Sesshomaru followed her back to Inuyasha's village, feeling as if everything was beginning again. It had been because of his brother that he had met her. It was his lack of power that had caused him to lose her. In the three years that she had been gone from their world, he had given in.

He allowed others to decide things for him. His mother had controlled his lands as he wandered, looking for a power that had been inside him all the time. He had allowed her and Takashi to arrange his mating with Sakura.

That had been a disaster and everything that had followed after it.

If he had been stronger than everything would have turned out for the better. He should have waited for her instead of allowing his mother to convince him to mate. He should have realized his feelings long ago. But he had not, he had simply thought it was lust.

He had never truly talked to her before she had become his. He had never thought that it was important because he thought he just lusted after her. He had been disgusted that he had lusted after her, a human.

He knew that a priestess could conceive a pure demon, all demons of the mortal realm did. It had never crossed that she would be strong enough to be able to; she had travelled with his brother. That alone made her weak in his mind until she showed him that he was wrong.

She showed him that he was a fool.

The people whispered about him as he walked through their village. He could not stop himself from comparing them to Kagome…they were all so lacking. The women could not hold a paper lantern to Kagome's beauty. The men were nothing but mere animals to her intelligence. All smell of feces, urine and old sweat; it all made him long for Kagome.

His mind took him to the moment that caught her scent in his grave. It had been clean and heavenly, something that had never expected from a human. It should have told him the truth.

The old priestess suddenly stood before him, stopping him there in the middle of the road. Her old eyes were filled with wary concern, which did not surprise him.

The villagers fell silent as she questioned him."Lord Sesshomaru, it has been some time since you last visited us. Are Kagome and her children well?"

"Kagome and our children are in hell," he informed gently.

The village erupted into shouts and concerned talk at his words. It only served to show him that Kagome had truly been an important person to the people of this village. She had been important to them even after five years. How many of these people had she known by name? Had she once helped them when they had been sick or had she saved them from demons?

He had not known how much he had truly taken from her.

"Please! Please! Everyone calm down!" The old priestess begged of the villagers before she turned to look at him. "I beg you, lord Sesshomaru…tell me what happened?"

"I will when we reach the monk and the slayer."

The priestess said nothing more and both she as well as Rin guided him to the couple's home. It wasn't long before they stood before the monk and slayer's home. The sight before him pained him deeply though.

Twin girls were playing with what could only be their brother in front of them home. The boy looked to be the same age as Mizuki if not a little older; it pained him so.

Seeing the boy tottering about between his older sisters was like watching Mizuki do the same with him. It made him ache to hold his oldest daughter or to hold any of his children.

But they were out of his reach because he had been weak. He had let his children down when he should have been stronger for them.

Tears came to his golden gaze at the thought of his children crying out for him. Crying out for him to hold them and love them in another realm that was inaccessible to him. He was their father, his heart was filled with love for them. But that love threatened to devour him with pain for failing to be a father to his children.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin whispered to him. He ignored her as the pain filled him to his core.

It was too much and he knew that his eyes were slowly turning red from the pain that threatened him. The pain was not unlike when Rin had died in hell; it crippled him to the point that he could not stand. It was then that a tiny hand grabbed his sleeve.

He jerked his head up to see the little boy was looking at him with sad eyes.

Everyone around him and the child froze as if they were afraid to move. They were such fools to believe that he would bring any harm to the little boy.

It would be easier to live without his other arm than to live with the little boy's death at his hands.

As if the child knew his thoughts and found them to be upsetting, the child started to cry. Without another thought, he picked up the little boy gently like he would his own children. Everyone but Rin stared at him in horror; he paid them no mind.

He was focused on the task of soothing the little boy, who slapped at the tears on Sesshomaru's cheeks. The action reminded him so of Mizuki when she was upset that he was upset. It made him wonder if this was a universal action for infants that was meant to comfort others.

Rocking the child, he did the one thing that he only ever did for his own children. He began to sing Kagome's song for Mizuki to help her sleep.

Rising, rising is the moon.

Large & round, large & round, and round, and round.

One plate-like full moon will rise soon.

Hiding, hiding is the moon.

Behind the clouds, dark clouds, black clouds, stormy clouds.

The plate-like full moon will hide soon.

Appearing, reappearing is the moon.

Large & round, large & round, and round, and round.

One plate-like full moon will rise soon.

The tears stopped rolling down the little boy's pink cheeks during the song and so did Sesshomaru's.

OoOo

Kagome was so quiet as she sat with his sister-by-mating that it was unnerving to him. He wanted desperately to make her smile, blink, frown…something that was not her staring into nothingness. But his sister-by-mating bared their fangs at him if he tried.

They whispered to Kagome now and then, which would make her nod or shake her head in answer. It was at least clear to him that she was comfortable with them. "Stop worrying, papa bear."

Saburo looked at his older brothers who sat beside each other as they watched him.

They couldn't understand if they tried. His mind was filled with thoughts of the hostile woman that she had been and the woman that she was becoming. They had never seen her so utterly broken as he had when he had carried her damaged body to Enma. It was something that he wanted to avoid if possible.

Despite the fact that he knew that was an impossible thing to hope for. The pain was a part of life and one had to endure it to grow.

Kagome had just been given too much to be able to cope and endure it as she once had. It did not make her something to be pitied but rather admired. She was working towards overcoming the pain that had been inflicted on her.

It only made him sad that it would be a neverending process for her as it was for others.

"Its hard to stop worrying."

"I know…but its clear that she's stronger than she had been," the oldest twin, Aiko said softly.

Saburo looked at his older brothers to see the matching looks of concern. Aiko and Akito were wise beyond their years; always having an answer for him when he had needed their guidance.

"What would you two do for her then?"

Akito was the one to answer him. "We're different people from you, little brother…besides she's the one that needs to take the steps needed, not us."

"That's not really an answer."

"We only have one side of the story," Aiko muttered suddenly.

Saburo glared at his brother for those words. To his ears, it almost sounded as if his older brother was going to side with Sesshomaru. "So we blame the victim?"

"Never," the twins voiced in unison. The look of rage in their eyes telling him of their feelings about his words.

"Good, it almost started to sound as if you were taking Sesshomaru's side in all of this."

"We'll learn his side when we go to war with him."

The world fell quiet at that for Saburo. His brothers could not mean to fight at the side of Sesshomaru. It was too sickening for him to take their words seriously. "You're joking."

But the look in his brothers' eyes told him that they were dead serious on the matter. It served to have his blood boil with rage; they were no better than their mother. Their words only served to be kindling for the rage that boiled him inside out.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" He snarled at them in outrage. "YOU'LL SIDE WITH THAT MONSTER LIKE OUR MOTHER?!"

"It is for the best, little brother," Akito said calmly.

"Mother is tormented by things that happened before we were even conceived…it influenced her actions and created conflicts. But our mother is still a good person at the end of the day," Aiko said softly as if to comfort.

But it only served to make him angrier. They turned blind eyes to a problem just as their mother had; it was an insult that burned him. So he said the only thing that could make blind eyes see the light. "I gave a vow of life to her and her children."

He turned away from his brother to watch Kagome again with his sisters-by-mating. His brothers' eyes burrowed into the flesh of his back, demanding that he explain. But he refused to do as they wished.

"Lord Enma-"

"Knows and thinks it will be good for her to have a protector," Saburo cut in sharply.

He was not their kid brother any longer and knew his own damned mind. He had told his lord and ruler soon after he had made the vow, expecting to be punished for it. But as always, Enma did the unexpected.

Enma had called it a good move at the time, not upset in any way that he had made the vow to another. It only served to show all that Enma was the right ruler for their people and realm.

The silence stretches on and on as if time had forgotten the sound of life, and preferred the silence.

OoOo

"What are they talking about?" Kagome asked as the two demonesses glared at the men that stood off in the distance. The two beauties turn to look at her before they wrapped their arms around her in a comforting embrace.

It was unexpected and somehow exactly what she needed at that moment. It reminded her of her own mother's warm arms banishing the sad emotions that had filled her.

"You are strong, Kagome…so strong that no one could ever truly break you."

There's a poll about Sesshomaru's Mate, please read and give me an honest answer.


	9. The Vote Is In!

p style="text-align: center;"The Votes are in on the poll./p  
p style="text-align: center;"A lot of people asked for me to do restart Sesshomaru's Mate so I fully intend to do just that./p  
p style="text-align: center;"I will post the next update on here but there will be no more updates on the blog beyond what is there./p  
p style="text-align: center;"When the revised Sesshomaru's Mate is done. I will post the first chapter on here and other chapters on my blog. The first three chapters will be on my blog and the will follow the pattern as show before./p  
p style="text-align: center;"Thank you all for your input and thank you for your patience. I should have the first revised chapter on my blog by the end of the month./p


	10. Chapter 9: People

Chapter 9: People

Sango stared at Sesshomaru as he sat across from her and Miroku. Her eyes turned to her only son who was asleep in Sesshomaru's arms. Her sweet little boy looked so peaceful in the arms of a demon, he was so unaware of the danger.

It sickened her that he sat in her home as if he had the right to be there. But Miroku had invited him in when they had seen their son asleep in Sesshomaru's arms.

Sango could almost hate Miroku for doing that.

But instead, everything inside of her screamed at her to take her son back from _**Him**_. But the strong grip that Miroku kept on her arm forced her to stay at his side. Her mind replayed the images of Inuyasha before her eyes, tormenting her with what he could do.

"So you wish us to fight with you to save Kagome then?" Miroku questioned.

Sango glanced at her husband, feeling sick at the thought of their friend.

So many years had passed since Sango had seen Kagome. Thought of Kagome killing herself was almost too much for her; she had been the heart of their group. So many of the battles that they had been would had ended in disaster if not for Kagome. Her old friend had the strength to fight through any hardship.

"Yes…I need to end the danger to her and our children before I can save her."

"You ask for a lot of us," Sango snapped at him. Miroku tightened his grip on her arm as if that would quiet her. It wouldn't though. "We have our children to consider, Lord Sesshomaru."

There was nothing there in Sesshomaru's golden eyes as she glared into them. They looked so dead that Sango almost wanted to check that his heart was still beating.

"Of course," He muttered before looking down at her son. Sango's heart stopped at the reminder of her child's life in his arms. "Kagome would never forgive me if anything happened to your children. If you would join me that I would do everything in my power to see to their safety as if they were my own."

The words struck a chord inside her.

He was right that Kagome would never forgive him but then neither would she. Both she and Kagome were mothers that were doing everything in their power to protect their children. Sango knew that he did not know that both she as well as Kagome saw them as a threat.

It wouldn't matter if he was the father of Kagome's children; he could still be a threat in her eyes.

It was no different for Sango. Until the moment that Miroku asked Sesshomaru into their home, he had just been her husband. Yet Sango now knew that her beloved husband was as much a threat to her children as Sesshomaru was.

"Then you would be willing to give me back my son, right this moment?"

Sesshomaru stared at her sweet little boy's sleeping face, making her long to take him and run. Sesshomaru moved too fast for her to even take a step though; for there he was. Sesshomaru was there beside her, holding her child out for her to take.

The weight of her son back in her arms was so sweet. She went about checking her son over for anything cuts that might have happened from Sesshomaru's claws.

"He reminds me of my oldest," Sesshomaru muttered.

Sango looked into his eyes and saw the longing in them as he stared down at her son again. "I long to hold all my children again as soon as possible."

"How do you know they're alive?" She questioned him.

"My allies have told me that my children are being cared for by their mother in hell." There was an edge of anger in his voice that made Sango move back from him.

"You said that Kagome was alive but you never told us how she got to hell?" Miroku said calmly. Yet the unspoken question hung in the air above them all.

How did she get to hell alive?

Everyone knew that only the dead and the dying could go to hell beyond a few special demons. Naraku had killed one of those demons five years ago; Kagome wouldn't do the same as he had.

Kagome would have looked for another answer if she needed to escape to hell for the safety of her children. She would have only killed as a last resort. It only whispered to them how desperate that Kagome may have been.

Sesshomaru answered without any hesitation but the regret was there in his eyes. "She killed herself before my eyes with my sword."

Silence fell on them all, a weight that threatened to crush them as they processed the words Sesshomaru spoke. The weight of the silence was so great that it woke Sango's sweet little boy with fitful cries. Still, Sango was too stunned by Sesshomaru's words to give her child comfort.

It was only when Miroku moved to take their son from her arms that she realized her son was crying. She jerked him away from her husband and stood up as she glared down at Sesshomaru. The words that flew from her mouth were deadly arrows to the demon. "You are to blame."

"Sango! Now is-"

"HE IS TO BLAME!" She screeched at her husband as she turned her glare on him. Anger towards both bubbled inside of her like a hot spring spilling over with water. She hissed at Miroku. "He is to blame and so are we."

Miroku stared at her as if confused by her words. But then he probably did not remember his words to her when they had been alone. "You told me that Kagome belonged to Sesshomaru. You told me that it would be wrong to force them apart. You told me that they would find happiness together in time."

Tears swam in her view, blinding her to what his expression could be. But she didn't care…she didn't know what else could be said between them.

So she turned to glare down at Sesshomaru once more. "We will fight with you to save Kagome but after she will be coming home with us along with all your children."

Sesshomaru met her glare with one of his own at her words. "You seek to take my mate and our children from me?"

"She. Killed. Herself. Because. Of. You." She said so slowly but each word was a strike at the demon. "My husband is too much of a coward to fight you for her but I'm not. I will protect Kagome from you, Sesshomaru until she can do it herself."

OoOo

Kagome stood before the target with the bow in her hands. The feel of the wood was a comfort that she had never thought of before. It filled her with a strength that reminded her that she was once a warrior.

She filled her lungs with air before letting go of the arrow. "…hit the mark."

The target exploded with a burst of her holy power when the arrow touched it. Silence filled the training area as everyone stared at what she had done.

It unnerved Kagome how quiet everyone was when Saburo suddenly appeared beside her and gave her back a good slap. His voice boomed in the silence,"you did great, Kagome!"

The silence broke away to people clapping and applauding her for her power and skill. It was enough to cause a smile to appear on Kagome's face for it all. She never expected them all to be happy about her skill with the bow…not after what had happened only a week ago.

"Its been so long since I last held a bow…it really feels good to hold one again."

"I bet. Now, why don't you take a few more shots?" Saburo said with a wicked smile that promised her trouble.

Little did he know that she would welcome it. She wanted to be strong again; she wanted to be the warrior that she had once been. Kagome refused to let herself be weak again or to let herself think on Sesshomaru's arm.

Seeing it had confused her and filled her with a bad feeling.

She would stand strong and think of what she was working towards. The old Kagome was gone, broken into a thousand shards but she would work to put those shards back together. Kagome knew that it would never make her the person that she had been and that she would bleed from it. But still, she would do it to heal, and show her children that she was something more than broken.

Saburo snapped his fingers and more disk targets flew into the air around her. They moved as if they were alive, they outnumbered her in the hundreds. It reminded Kagome of when she had killed demons that attacked her group from in the air.

Without thought, her body moved on its own. Arrow and bow in hand, the hundreds of the targets fell broken at her feet.

Strength gripped her as she let arrow after arrow flew with the joy of her skill. Two years had been too long a wait to hold a bow again, too long to let an arrow fly. The strength filled every cell in her body, reminding her of what she had once been.

Tears came to her ocean blue eyes.

This had been one of the things that he had taken from her. It was something that she took back the moment she touched the bow. It was another thing that was just the beginning for her. She would take it all back in time.

She would be a new person, someone broken but healed, someone that was both her past but also her future. She would not let him have the power anymore.

It was then that she felt it and reacted. Twisting around, Kagome fired five arrows where each one shattered another arrow that was meant for her. Demonic power burst from each arrow that she had destroyed; it moved to attack her like a living being about to attack prey.

She would never be prey again though.

Forcing her power out of her body, Kagome used her power to grab that of the enemy was shocked by it. The power was familiar and yet at the same time, she knew that she had never faced it before. It was almost frightening to think that someone as strong as herself was making a clear threat to her. It was a challenge that they expected her to back down from.

They clearly didn't know that she would never do that again.

OoOo

Enma smiled wickedly as Kagome held her own against his power. In truth, it was clear to him that he had found an equal in strength at last.

Fragile and broken as Kagome was, she had a spirit and inner strength that he had only seen in one other. It filled him with admiration that she was in his realm. He knew that she would never be the broken woman that he had seen in his throne room. She was dead and gone.

In her place was a wounded warrior that would kill her enemies.

"She's just like you, my sweet," he whispered to Emma as they watched Kagome fight against his power.

He felt Emma's eyes on him before he felt her gentle hand on his arm. It was comforting to feel her touch and to feel the love in that touch. "No, you can clearly see that she's much better than before. It was only a little over a half hour ago that she was still surrounded by Akito and Aiko's mates after all."

"She's healing, my sweet…just like you did."

"Her healing is going much faster than mine did," Emma whispered with a hint of envy in her voice.

"People heal at different rates. It does not take away from what the healing stands for though."


	11. Chapter 10: Blame

Chapter 10: Blame

It was a living thing inside of her. It protected her from everything that this world intended to throw at her. She screamed as she used it against the threat to her.

Her power was so quick to obey her like a child that wanted to help its mother.

The area around her filled with her power, forcing the demons around her to leave or be harmed. She was no threat to them but instinctively knew that she would need the room. Kagome readied an arrow and pulled on the memory. She pulled on the memory of using her power to strike down her enemies no matter the direction.

Pain exploded inside of her as it had the first time that she had tried it. But the pain would not deter her as it had years before. She was strong enough to endure now as she had once before.

The demonic power that had threatened her disappeared as she pulled the arrow back. "Kagome stop!"

It was Saburo that had shouted that. She refused to stop, she had worked too hard to suddenly stop when the threat did. She would end the threat to her and prove that she wasn't the same person as before.

She wasn't going to be the Kagome that had lived through Sesshomaru's abuse. She wasn't going to be the kindhearted warrior anymore either. Kagome was in hell and that meant that she needed to become something more.

She needed to be darker than she had ever been. She wouldn't turn on the innocent but she wouldn't let her enemies retreat any longer.

Kagome released the arrow.

It flew in the air before it disappeared before her eyes. Without another thought, she turned to leave with the bow still in hand as the silence that filled the training grounds grew.

Her power moved inside and outside of her flesh. It was a living thing that was her to command as she desired. She would never abuse her power has others had but she refused to be weak any longer.

She went back to her rooms, to her children, who were being tended to by Haruto. Haruto gave her a smile and Kagome gave one in return before going to them. Yet unlike Haruto, her smile didn't feel like it was filled with happiness.

Mizuki instantly went to her and sat down on her lap. Kagome wrapped her arms around her oldest, feeling a comfort that filled her soul with warmth. The warmth and love that she felt for all her children only served to show how weak she had been. They deserved better than her.

But she knew that she was all that they had and that she would die for them. She would be stronger, she would be a true warrior that defended her children from all threats.

"Kagome," Saburo called as he appeared in the doorway.

Haruto went to the side of her lover but Saburo just pushed her behind him as if to protect her. It was silly really, Kagome would never hurt Haruto. "Yes?"

"What was all that?" Saburo questioned her. "That wasn't necessary at all!"

She just looked at him for a moment as he went on to tell her why it had been unnecessary. She only listened with half an ear, turning her attention to Mizuki and her baby babbling. Some part of her seemed to know what her child was saying as Mizuki tried to tell. Mizuki had done this before but it was only now that Kagome realized that she had never truly paid attention.

Her pain and sadness had been overwhelming her so much that she had failed as a mother. She had missed out on so much without ever realizing anything at all. It was another thing that Sesshomaru had done to her.

It was something that Kagome realized that she had let him do to her.

She had allowed herself to become weak to save another. But in the end, she some many had suffered for the one to live. Was that something that was right or wrong? To Kagome that all felt so wrong.

It had been the right thing to do two years ago. Because the person that she had been was a person that would sacrifice herself for others. Yet looking into her baby girl's face, Kagome knew…others had suffered. Others had suffered for her stupidity and it was time to stop that all.

"You're not listening to me at all right now," Saburo growled at her.

She turned her attention to him then. There was a tired look on her face because that was what she was with him. She was tired of everything. She was tired of having others scold her for what she knew was right and wrong. She was tired of being ignored or told to obey.

She was sick of being tired and done with it all. "Yes, I'm not listening because I'm sick of it."

"Sick of it?" Saburo echoed like a child.

"Yes," she told him. "Sick of it! I'm sick of listening and being told to obey. I'm sick of being weak instead of strong. I'm sick of men thinking that they know what I should be."

Silence filled the room around them for a few moments before he asked a question of her. It was not a question that she had been expecting.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

There was only one answer for that though.

"Become more than I have been." Her mind flashed to Saburo's sisters-in-law had said to her a few hours before. "I need to become even stronger so that no one can truly break me again."

OoOo

Sango sat beside Kaede, all her children were asleep behind them, dreaming sweet dreams. Her mind was filled with everything that had happened. It all felt so wrong to her and she knew that all of this, she carried some of the blame.

"Stop," Kaede commanded softly.

Sango stared into the flames of the fire, feeling her fill with pressure."How can I? This is all so wrong. She never deserved all this and I never helped her…she helped me so many times."

Sango felt Kaede's eyes on her but didn't look up to look into them. She didn't want to think of this was all a game of chance, how that was all that life was. She had caused pain to her best friend by focusing only on her own life and her family.

She could have done more but she hadn't.

She couldn't have that anymore. She couldn't look at her husband and not feel angry for what he did.

He had abandoned Kagome to a fate she would never want on another woman. He had told her that Kagome belonged with Sesshomaru, that they would be happy together. It had all been lies.

He always lies and yet she had believed him. It made her a fool.

She knew that she should have never married him but her heart had decided for her. It made her long for her father and true home. Her people would have never allowed her to marry a man that was such a liar and cheat. They would have convinced her that she could do better, which she could have before.

Still, she could not regret loving him and having his children. But she knew that it would be a long time before she could forgive him or herself.

All of them were to blame in the end.


	12. Chapter 11: Stay Away

Chapter 11: Stay Away

Kagome walked out of her rooms, out of the palace and into the city of hell. Saburo had told her not to since she was human and it would have been dangerous. She had felt compelled to do it though. She had been there for what had felt like a year when it had only been a few short months.

She needed to change.

She realized that when she had fought Enma with her power. She had been weak for too long and even before that…she had never been a true warrior. Everyone had worked to develop their skills and power during their fight against Naraku. She hadn't.

Demons took notice of her right away. Some muttered and whispered as others pointed right at her openly. Kagome just ignored it as she walked through the city. She intended to leave everything behind for a few hours.

She needed to know who Kagome was. It was a question that all people had to ask themselves in their life. But the wounds that had been inflicted made that difficult.

Someone suddenly grabbed her; without a thought, her power flared in a warning. A dagger came to her throat in answer to her warning.

An old withered looking demon stepped into view. It was hard for Kagome to tell if it was male or female since it had nothing that gave it away. It had a snakehead with lots of hair and the limbs of a lizard."Bitch Human, you should be in a stew pot."

Her power rolled inside her, wrapping around her arm to get the demon that held her to let go. It was then that pain sliced at her and her blood flowed freely. Kagome watched as the dagger moved away from her throat.

The lovely blue kimono that Haruto had picked for her was covered in blood. She wondered if this would be the end of her as more sliced through her. The demon that had held her and others started to cut pieces from her. It made her want to laugh.

She had protected demons and humans alike when she had been with her friends. Yet these demons were cutting into her flesh like she was cattle with plans to likely eat her. Kagome couldn't find herself being upset at the thought of herself dying like that.

Her children though. They didn't deserve to see their mother as anything more than bloody bones. She needed to be a mother to them, she needed to be someone to herself.

She had resolved to become stronger yet others wanted to keep her weak. She refused to let others control her anymore. She screamed as she released her power in a wave. "FUCK OFF!"

Screams echoed off in the street and demons ran to get away from her. They left her there in the dirt like a dirty wet rag that was no longer needed. She really wanted to laugh at it all. These demons that had once needed her so desperately. Now they wanted nothing to do with her beyond turning her into food.

It was like life was slapping her in the face, trying to tell her that her worth was so little. She had no true clear answers on what to do. She only knew that she needed to be a mother and to find herself. Her true self.

There were so many questions and yet, there were no forthcoming answers. She would have to dig for them inside of herself. She would have to dig until her fingers were raw and bleeding. But she would find her answers

"Are you alright, Kagome?"

OoOo

Nori sat beside Setsuna as they watched the sunset. There was an odd peace between them that had manifested because of their deal. It was something that Nori had never believed possible before.

"Did you ever regret coming to this world?" Setsuna asked softly.

"Never." But then she was the one who's child was living, who had the love of her mate for longer. She had suffered hardships but she had been too stubborn to break from them.

"Then you're the one that will likely suffer the most in the end," Setsuna informed.

"I'm not barren," Nori cut.

The words sliced at the other demoness and rage appeared in her eyes but Nori did not care.

She lived solely for her child and her family. The demoness beside her lived for herself alone. They were as different as night and day. Yet Nori knew that neither of them would be happy in the end. They would both find only misery in the day to come.

Nori had seen it in her son's eyes, a promise that she would never be happy again.

"You're right, I'm barren." The words had been whispered as if they would bring evil down on them. It was then that Setsuna turned to look at her and said. "But at least I can't conceive that bastard child's children as you will."

"A child is always a blessing," Nori lied. His child would be nothing like her son or grandchildren. It would be toxic and ruined simply be the fact that Takashi put it inside of her.

"Then you better hope they don't die in your womb like all the rest before we kill him."

OoOo

Katsu had been surprised by the suddenness of the attack that Kagome had unleashed. There was feral desperation to her as she unleashed her powers on him. It only reinforced what he had been told about his son's actions. He had hoped that Sesshomaru had been above force but it was clear that he hadn't.

Bloody and chunks of flesh cut so clean that one could see her bones, he wondered how she was alive. There was something unnatural about the woman that stood there before him. She smelled human, looked human and the powers of one. But it was clear that something was not right about her.

"NEVER! NEVER AGAIN, SESSHOMARU!" She screeched at him.

He was surprised that he had confused him for his older son. Many had told him that Inuyasha looked more like him than his oldest. It only made him wonder what she was like with his grandchildren.

Her power burned his spirit but he made no move to attack her in return. She did not deserve to be punished for defending herself. Not when she thought it was Sesshomaru.

He stared at her as she curled within herself but ever aware of every move he made. It was like a terrified animal that only wanted to escape…even at the cost of a limb. "I'm not Sesshomaru, Kagome."

He tried to move closer to her but she only started to scream in horror and claw at her already damaged arms. Pity slammed into his chest.

His son had done this. He had turned what had been a beautiful young woman into an animal. It was something that he had never thought that Sesshomaru would be capable of. His son had looked down on humans as something unworthy. Katsu had always disdain that side of his son. The lack of compassion that his mate and his mother-by-mating had been so happy about had concerned him.

His family had believed in treating humans as equals. They had believed that because they had once lived side by side as such.

But it was clear that his son never could. Katsu could see that his oldest would never learn unless a guiding hand could aid him. He needed to be that for Kagome first.

He needed to help her heal and become a new person that was above her trauma.

"Please…please Sesshomaru…please…please…please stay…away," she sobbed brokenly. It hurt him so badly to hear that.

Yet it was the words she said next that shocked him deeply. "Please…stay away…I…I don't…I don't want to…hurt you."


	13. Chapter 12: Darkness

Chapter 12: Darkness

The darkness was cold despite the blanket on her. Had it all been a dream? Kagome hoped that it all had just been a dream.

She was so tired and just wanted to stop. She thought that she was getting better; it was a lie though. So much was a lie, she could never get better. Never be healed from what happened to her. She was tainted with Sesshomaru's poisonous touch.

After all, it told only a few words to make her unstable again.

No one had said them to hurt her. No one had even thought it would set her off. But those words were just like his. They had just been like him when he would take her.

She just snapped then, it only served to make it all the worse. The pain of that dagger that cut her throat had been sweet. It had whispered that death and pain could still take her. That they could still make her feel. It was purifying to the taint that Sesshomaru filled her with.

"Why couldn't life be like this?" she muttered to no one.

The silence was nice as it gave her time to think. To wonder what another life could have been…to wonder if she could have been stronger.

That felt like a lie though. She could never be the person that she was. That person had been broken beyond repair by that poisonous touch.

"Kagome?" Enma greeted softly as the darkness faded with an open door.

She turned away from the light, she wanted to stay in that darkness. The light was painful like his touch. The darkness had offered her pain as well but she wanted that pain. It was a pain that she could endure and survive.

She couldn't survive the light. It would shatter her to dust.

"Kagome? Kagome, we must talk about what happened," Enma told her calmly. She still gave him her back.

She didn't want to turn to him, to admit that she was still alive. She wanted to be dead and in the darkness rather than be in the light. "Go away."

"You were bleeding, Kagome…you would have died if you were mortal."

"That's not a bad thing if you ask me." It sounded wonderful.

"You were doing better, you wanted to live. What changed that?" he asked.

She didn't answer him, how could she? To tell him that just a simple sentence was all that was needed to set her off. It made her feel weaker than she was. Her body was filled with power yet she was so weak.

"You're stronger than this. What changed, Kagome?"

So much had changed. The strength was there but gone at the same time. She was broken, the pieces sharp and small. She tried to put them back together but she was sliced each time. She was bleeding and raw from it, seeing the missing pieces in the cracks as she worked.

Those words had it send her hard work to the floor, breaking it all over again. "Get out before I make you."

"Do it then. If you want to be alone so bad then make me leave, Kagome."

She pulled her arm from the blanket and raised it above her. She never looked at her arm, or at him as she allowed her power began to filled the space. She heard him growl before she felt him grab her.

She closed her eyes then. "Stop this! What will it fix to release your power like that? All you are doing is isolating yourself from those that want to help."

He was on top of her and she knew that he was burning from her power. "I want to be alone. I wanted to die and I want to be dead again, living is too much."

"That's childish and you know it. What would you do if one of your children said the same to you, Kagome?"

"I'm not your child and mine will never say it. They have their father's will and will survive better than their mother ever had." She didn't quite believe those words though. Life was an unpredictable animal. One moment, it's sweet and kind…the next it is killing you with it's fangs.

She had felt those fangs sink into her skin. She had felt it's claws sink into her back, branding her. Kagome knew that life would do the same to her children without a second thought. "Why did you rip his arm off?"

They both knew that she was talking about Sesshomaru.

"He needed to be punished," was the simple answer. It gave her nothing and told him so.

"His kind are being punished for you and many other reasons…you don't need to worry about it."

"So you're going to dismiss it from my mind like it never happened then?" silence fell upon them with the only interruption their breathing. It made Kagome tempted to open her eyes.

Finally, Enma spoke once more. "Why would you care about him? He raped you, crippled you and yet you ask me why I ripped his arm off. IF I didn't know better than I would think that you still love him."

Kagome opened her eyes to glare at him. His skin was burning away, showing the muscle beneath.

His eyes were calm and reflected none of the pain that he must have felt. She sent him flying into the wall with her outreached arm before she sat up.

It just made Enma laugh as he sat there in the crumbling wall. It served to only enrage her.

She felt something for Sesshomaru but love had never been it. Enma knew that; he knew that and said it. It was like he wanted to fight her, to enrage her beyond what she wanted. All she wanted was death to take her. To end it all; Enma wanted to stand in the way of it.

"What's the point of this? Why do you want to keep me alive?" she hissed at him.

"Why do you want to die? You have everything to live for yet you look to death for answers," he retorted.

"Because life is an animal I can't handle anymore."

OoOo

Sesshomaru sat in front of the monk's house. The moon gave a faint glow as if afraid to shine brightly. The demon slayer had left hours ago with all her children; she refused to have them near him.

She saw him as a danger, a threat that would strike at her. A good mother protected her young from a threat.

His mind turned to Kagome. He had always thought that she was a good mother. He thought of when she had sung that song for Mizuki.

 _Taking their daughter into her arms, it was then that Kagome noticed the toy on the ground. "Were you playing with her?" Kagome asked him. It was impossible, Sesshomaru wouldn't do that. He would see it as beneath him and a waste of time; he cared about their child, but he wouldn't play with her or take that kind of interest in her. "Yes, I was when you were asleep." He told her._

 _Kagome stared at him for a moment, wondering if he was telling the truth before giving Mizuki back to her father and picking up the toy. With the toy in hand, Kagome went about calming her daughter. Putting the toy in front of her face, Kagome made the toy dance with her hands as she sang._

 _I'm a happy puppy, cute and sweet._

 _I'm a happy puppy that would like to play with you._

 _I'm a happy puppy that loves her daddy._

 _So, will you play with me?_

 _So will you play with me?_

 _So will you and your daddy play with me and mine today?_

His arms felt so empty as he longed for the light weight of a baby. What had she been thinking when she had sung that song? Mizuki had been all smiles and he had been amazed that the tear vanished so easily.

Yet he found himself longing to hold a baby, to hear the cries of need.

"You alright, Sesshomaru?"

He jerked at the question to see a tired monk standing in his doorway. There were dark circles under his eyes like a man haunted by a nightmare. Sesshomaru just nodded in answer.

The two stared at one another in the dark. They were both fathers that were separated from their children. They were separated from the women that they loved. Neither had the answer to change things for the better at that moment.

"How long do you plan to stay?" the monk asked him.

Sesshomaru thought on it before he answered. "How long will it take your wife to be convinced to come to battle with us?"

"Decades."

"Then you have your answer." Sesshomaru closed his eyes then so he could lose himself in his memories. His mind showed him all the changes that he had seen in his children and all the changes that he was missing.

He wished to see them as soon as possible.

Ps: Want the next two chapters? They're already up on my blog and waiting for you and your reviews. I hope you'll stop by and have a wonderful time there.


	14. Chapter 13: Mess

Sesshomaru stared at the monk for a moment, unsure of what to think of the man's words. "Why not?"

"I know my wife…" he paused as if to think carefully of his next words. "She wouldn't return until you leave. She will help you in saving Kagome but she's likely to try to kill you as we help."

Sesshomaru caught the scent of the demon slayer in that moment on the wind. He turned to look at her; the face she showed was a mix of pain, rage and guilt. There was nothing for him to say when he felt all of those feelings and more. He was the reason that his family was gone and there was no easy fix to get them back.

He had no intention of giving up though. He had those that he wanted to protect after all.

"You're right about that, Miroku…I'll kill you myself, Sesshomaru." The demon slayer said as she walked up the path. She was dressed in her demon slayer armor. Everything about her at that moment reminded Sesshomaru of why he needed her. This was the warrior that had helped to kill their enemy, Naraku. This was the warrior that fought at Kagome's side.

This was the warrior that wanted to kill him.

"I will allow you to punish me however you see fit," he answered. He stood then and walked to stand before her. Their eyes clashed like swords as they stared each other down.

"So I can even kill you?" she asked as she drew her sword.

The tip of the sword touched his throat, sharp as iron could be. "No, that is for Kagome to decide."

The tip broke when the demon slayer pressed it against his skin. Her eyes glared utter hatred for him before she turned away. His eyes followed her, noticing how the monk had come to them. His eyes were wide with concern for his mate.

The man tried to take her arm in hand but she slapped him before he could touch her. "Don't touch me."

"Sango…"

"We're the reason that she's suffering right now. We should have saved her from him!" her hand pointed him with anger in the movement. "Now we need him to save her from Hell…we'll die trying if we have to."

"Of course, Sango." But Sesshomaru saw the doubt in the monk's eyes as well as his lack of resolve.

"You shouldn't lie to her…or me," Sesshomaru informed icily.

The two humans turned to look at him then. Confusion in the demon slayer's eyes and dread in her mate's. It only took a moment for the demon slayer to understand what his words meant. Her eyes turned hard before she looked at the monk again. "Stay home."

"What?"

"You no longer have your wind tunnel and Inuyasha is gone…stay for the village and our children." She turned away from him as if the sight of her mate pained her.

It made Sesshomaru feel sick as he remembered the times that Kagome had done the same.

The monk grabbed her arms then to shake her. "What nonsense is this? I'm not letting you fight alone."

"You would let her rot in Hell, I can see it in your eyes, Miroku! I can't fight with you when you lack the resolve to save her."

It only seems to make Miroku angry to hear those words. "We survive when we fight together. I'm not going to let you die alone in his battles!"

The world stopped at that moment. Only Sesshomaru was immune to it. He watched the pair, knowing what would be said next. The loyalty of the demon slayer outweighed that of her mate. There was no way that he would allow the monk to follow them.

He didn't need weak warriors if he wanted his family back.

"What about Kagome?" The demon slayer asked the monk.

The man was confused by that question and asked. "What about her?"

"We survived because of her. We survived because of Inuyasha. We survived because of Shippo too. Inuyasha is gone, Shippo left and Kagome is in Hell. I can't let us be the only ones that are happy."

"We'll help them, Sango. We'll do it together and we'll all be together again." He looked as if he didn't believe the words himself.

If his brother ever tried to get close to Kagome then he would kill him. Sesshomaru would never allow the unstable threat that was his brother near her again.

"That's a lie and you know it," she said coldly. "We can't be whole again. Not the group…or us."

"Sango, please don't."

OoOo

"An animal that you can't handle? So what is it a dog or a tiger?" Enma asked as he stared down at her, willing her to answer. But all she gave him was a look that called him stupid.

"A dog or a tiger? That's so stupid," Kagome hissed at him.

"No, it's not," he told her. His hands went to her throat then. Kagome did nothing as he started to squeeze; if it was too hard then he would kill her instantly.

"A tiger will toy with you, cut you with it's claws. You will suffer agony before it uses it's fangs on your flesh. Even then it wouldn't give you release from life."

His hold tightened, gently choking the breath from her. Kagome just stared at him, her blue eyes showing him the pain she still felt. "A dog is different."

"Dogs…are…shit," Kagome gasped out. Her power burned him once more. It had stopped before like embers burned out. The feel of burning upon his skin once more told him of the life that was still inside of her.

He wanted that burn to alight once more. To have Kagome inflamed with a desire to live for more than just her children. "They can be, but I have found they are kind creatures as well. They only need to find the right master to be sweet beasts."

"That's…not-"

"That's not your experience? That's not what you believe? That's not what you know to be true? Tell me, Kagome! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO TRULY SAY!" He shouted the last part at the top of his lugs. The power in the air burned inside his lungs like hot smoke and embers.

It had the reaction that he wanted though.

Kagome glared at him as she took his wrists in hand. The touch burned his skin from his flesh. He pulled back then, letting her go. She unleashed her fury at that moment. "DOGS ARE SHIT! I LOVED INUYASHA BUT HE COULDN'T LET KIKYO GO FOR THE LONGEST TIME. I RETURNED TO THIS WORLD, HOPING THAT HE HAD FORGOTTEN HER AND THAT WE COULD LIVE TOGETHER. INSTEAD, I'M RAPED BY HIS BROTHER UNTIL I'M PREGNANT AND EVEN THEN IT NEVER STOPPED."

Her holy power only seemed to grow stronger with each word. The air literally began to burn his insides out, each suck of air was killing him slowly.

Stomping came from out in the hall before Emma appeared in the open doorway. One look at him was all the answer she needed before she went to his side. A barrier suddenly fell upon them and he could breathe again.

"I JUST WANTED IT TO STOP…I'M ALMOST TWENTY AND I'M THE MOTHER OF SEVEN BEAUTIFUL BABIES. I WANT THEM BUT I'M SO POISONED BY THEIR FATHER, BY THEIR GRANDMOTHER…by everything."

She whispered the last part. Enma stared at her as she curled in on herself. She looked so small and weak like that. Nothing like the monster that had been crippling him with her power. How was she so powerful for a human?

It was beyond his knowledge and understanding. Her power was on a level with the gods if not stronger.

"May I come in now?"

Enma turned to see Katsu then. The old general stood in the doorway, no different then a king sat on his throne. Yet the demon never wanted to shed blood.

All he wanted was to be with his human wife.

Enma felt nothing but disgust for Katsu. Still, Enma growled, "yes. Come and fix the mess your son made."

The two stared at one another for a moment, everything silent except for Kagome's sobs. Those golden eyes were so calm and accepting of Enma's disgust for him.

It was Emma that broke their stare. All it took was her putting her hand over Enma's eyes. Her voice was soft as she pleaded. "Please help her if you can."


	15. Chapter 14: Ruin

**Chapter 14: Ruin**

It was like a reflection of the past stood before him. Weak and curled in on herself, Kagome reminded Katsu of that first time. Only there wasn't any trees or river, there was no rain to saturate them to the bone.

The human woman that he fell in love with was safe.

Still, he was reminded of Izayoi as he stared at Kagome. It was sickening to see what his son had done. He knew the truth though. There was no one to blame for his son's actions, not even his son.

It was only him that could shoulder that blame. He should have been a better parent to his children.

He should have been there to help and teach Sesshomaru. Instead, he had allowed his mate to have her way. They were both scarred by the loss of their children.

She had suffered more than he ever could. She had carried their hope, their future inside of her…only to feel it die. Each time she had been desperate to replace it, wanting their child to grow and live.

The sight of her covered in her own blood filled his mind. Her beautiful face crushed with the pain of losing another child to death. it twisted his insides as he remembered her pained screams filling the air.

Sesshomaru had been their miracle.

He stared at Kagome as she laid there on the floor and felt his failure keenly. Sesshomaru had been their miracle yet their miracle lacked compassion.

"Stay away from me," she whispered softly.

He ignored her words and walked slower to her. It only led her to crawl away from him. He followed her slowly, feeling all the sicker as she tried to flee from him. She had been strong, he knew that, had seen it when she had fought at Inuyasha's side.

Yet she crawled. Like a bug.

He had seen the compassion in his eldest. A compassion that he thought didn't exist inside Sesshomaru. He had seen the love his son had for his children and this woman.

He saw her conflicting emotions. She wanted to be happy, to raise his grandchildren. But he saw how she was broken, it was the same as when he had first met Izayoi.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She suddenly screamed as she found herself trapped in a corner.

He stopped and stared at her. "There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm not going to hurt you."

That was when she looked at him. Tears ran down her cheeks, her expression was distraught. "You understand nothing."

"I understand more than you think," he told her.

"..no, you don't. Not one of you understands it." She seemed to lose herself as she thought of that. She looked down as one of her hands when to her shoulder. It wasn't for long though before she was looking at him again. "He never hurt me."

"What?"

"He never hurt me physically besides when he raked his claws down my back. Beside that he was gentle, gave me every pleasure."

Katsu said nothing, unsure of what had her talking. There was more to this then the nonsense that she was telling him. So he just listened.

"That was worse than anything ever done to me," she whispered. "I thought we were friends once…or at the least, comrades against the same enemy. It was all lies though in the end."

"I'm sure that-"

"SHUT UP!" She screeched out at him suddenly. "You weren't there. You weren't a parent to either of your sons or none of this would have happened."

The fear in her eyes pained him and it told him a secret that no other knew. She never blamed Sesshomaru for his actions. He knew it was the truth because she looked at him with the same fear that he had seen before.

A fear that he had seen only reflected from his enemies. A fear that he had once seen from his son.

He had known his mate had wanted to keep their son from him. She had blamed him for the death of all the others and she feared losing their son. He had feared the same, still did for both of his Children. He had given his life for them to have a future.

In that moment, it only served to feel like he had ruined those futures that he had wanted to protect.

"What is a parent, Kagome?" He asked her suddenly. "You are a mother so you must know what a parent is, correct?"

"Why are you-"

"That's not an answer, Kagome," he cut in. "I'll tell you what a parent is since you don't want to answer me."

"You didn't give her a chance, Katsu." It was Enma who growled that. "Let her answer before you decide to give it to her."

It was then that Kagome's power only seem to grow even stronger. The walls and floor around them started to catch on fire from the air alone. The blue of her eyes darkened into a deep purple. Though he was dead, the sight of her eyes frightened him.

Everything screamed at him to run, to escape her gaze.

He couldn't understand why that was. He had seen and experienced countless things from countless lands when he had been alive. He had never felt a moment of fear in all of his life. The only exception had been when he had almost lost Izayoi and Inuyasha.

Even then it had been a fear for them rather than himself. He found himself afraid for his own safety in that moment. It was like Kagome was the greatest foe that he had ever faced.

It didn't change the fact that she was a part of his family and needed help.

She stood up then, the flames surrounded her, her clothes aflame. Her eyes continued to change in hue. They glared at him with hatred as she answered his question from before.

"A parent is someone that loves, cares for, and guides their children no matter the blood ties between them. You failed at that task," she hissed the last part.

"I did," He agreed. He had failed both his sons with his death. That would no longer be the case. "You would fail your children as well."

"Yes," she agreed with him. Her eyes suddenly becoming lighter. "I have been failing them since the moment they were born. It would be better if I had stayed dead."

"You're no good to them dead!" He growled at her.

"I'M NO GOOD FOR THEM AT ALL!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her hair seemed to catch on fire yet it didn't burn. "I'M CORRUPTED AND TAINTED. I'M NOT EVEN SURE THAT I'M HUMAN ANYMORE! I DON'T FEEL HUMAN ANYMORE!"

He didn't think as he saw her crumble. He just acted on his need to hold her, to which she only seemed to react negatively to. She tried desperately to escape his hold on her. Her body burning him as he continued to hold her against her will.

She cursed him, her words foul filth that he had never heard from her before. There was also such hatred for him in that moment.

Then she was gone.

The power, the flames, everything that she had created including herself was suddenly gone. His arms were empty and the chamber looked untouched. Katsu looked around, completely confused by it.

"What happened?"

"She left obviously…Emma, please tell Saburo that he can have that new palace."

Katsu turned to the couple, confused as to what Enma said. "What?"

Though burned and in pain, the ruler of hell gave him a rather annoyed look. "Are you a child? Do I need to explain everything to you about what just happened? Because I would really rather not if it's all the same to you."

"I realize that she is gone but she's human," Katsu growled as his frustration over everything began to overflow. He had kept his calm for Kagome despite being out of his element.

He had just wanted to help her. It only felt like he had made it worse in the long run.

"She's more than human…that much I'm certain of at least," Enma told him.

"More than human? That tells me nothing about her, it tells me nothing in how to help her. Do you enjoy being useless, boy?" Katsu scolded.

Enma growled in return and moved to sit up, only his mate kept him from doing so. The concern in her eyes reminded him of both his beloveds. Nori had once showed him such concern before life had scarred her.

It only served to fill him with pain for all that he had lost. He had gained so much yet it felt more and more like he was losing things of late.

He looked away from them, still feeling Enma's glare upon him. "We both know that some humans have more in them…after all, you made such a child."

OoOo

The music filled the air with a sweet sound that accompanied the moans and gasps of pleasure. It had always been his favorite thing, the only thing that could soothe him. Gasps and moans were the only lullaby he had ever known. It was the only one that he wanted.

It would be the only lullaby his own children would have.

His children would listen as he fucked their mother and his concubines. Everything else was a lie. Pleasure and power were the only real things that one could have.

They would learn that lesson as soon as possible or they would never last.

He watched as one of his favorites as she rode. Her purple eyes glowed in the weak light of the candles. Her long black hair was a curtain that hid the lord's face from his view. Her eyes watched him as she took the lord's dick deep inside her. Her eyes plead with him for something.

He simply gave her a smile.

She could fuck as many men as she desired; they both knew that she would never conceive. It was an impossibility for all his concubines, for all of his toys. He had made sure to cut those organs out of them himself.

They knew that he would never gift them with a child. No man, demon or god could because of him. So many of them despaired over his actions.

She only smiled at him for the gift that she knew it was. Even if it was fake, she would still smile at him. It was like a dog that had been beaten begging to be pet by it's owner.

It amused him to know end for that alone. They both knew that he could restore what he had taken from her.

It was a tool he used to keep her obedient. He knew that she hated him. Everyone did and always would. An only son born to a weak concubine was always meant to be hated.

Sakura had been the only one to be loved.

It brought him such joy that the bitch was dead.

"Come," he ordered when the lord seem like he was just about to reach his climax. She obeyed without question, getting off the wet dick just as it released it's seed.

She crawled to him just as he liked his women to. She crawled into his lap, her face rubbed lovingly against his loins. He patted her head like one did to their pet and he saw a flash of anger in her eyes for a moment.

It made him jump under the cloth. "Are you angry?"

"A little," she told him honestly. "I wanted to enjoy that seed of his. I'm hungry."

"You're more a pig than a spider, my sweet…I have a task for you."

"Oh? Then I'll get a reward if I do well, right?" her eyes shone like jewels and fangs ripped free of the human facade she presented. "Let me have my fill of human lives and seed again."

He smiled, liking the thought of seeing her surrounded by human men. All of them too absorbed in fucking his concubine. So much so that they won't notice that each time they came, she would kill one of them.

He wondered if it would be one of his broken little girls or if it would be Kagome that he would shove his dick into her mouth.


	16. Chapter 15: It's Starting

**Chapter 15: It's Starting**

A soft, sweet taste lingered in his mouth as he lifted his cup to be filled. The sake was lighter than what he would prefer, still it was delicious. It was the only good thing about his situation.

Females and males danced naked around lords and took pleasure in each other as they pleased. Hands, mouths and bodies sought to bring release to each other. It was nothing like the meetings that he had taken part in Hell. Takashi was such a perv.

Jomei smiled at a pretty female that filled his cup and offered her breasts for him to sample. It was clear that she wanted to offer him a pleasant time. He just wasn't in the mood to enjoy never was when he had to work. How could he be when his work was spying on the enemy? He glanced at Takashi to watched him as he wondered about the lord.

He had been spying on Takashi for some time. Long before the mess with his mother's best friend's son and his concubine. He had seen the puppets that he liked to play with, to use as spies and tools of murder.

He alone seemed to know the truth about Sakura.

To Jomei's eyes, the demon lord was just a child. Neglected and unloved, lashing out at the world for it. He could almost see a child sitting there, crying big fat tears instead of an adult that dominated.

Takashi was the very opposite of Jomei and was something to be pitied for it.

"You look quite lost there," the female muttered.

He turned to look at her; she really was a pretty female that he could enjoy. Long blue hair, pale green eyes and a luscious body naked for his viewing pleasure. Why did he have to be such a good child to his parents? He should just be like his siblings and throw duty to the wind just once.

Yet seeing the concubine's human face ripped away to reveal fangs told him that he couldn't. Terrifying fangs filled the space of what had once been a human's jaw. Hunger sparkled in her eyes.

"I'm thinking of the future," he told her as he smiled. It wouldn't be good to be exposed when he needed answers. "It feels so uncertain now with King Enma upset."

"Lord Takashi will fix it. He fixes everything," she said to him happily. It was her eyes though that told Jomei that she was scared.

"One demon to fix everything? That seems a bit much." It was more than a bit much; it was near impossible. He told her so.

"I would think the same if it was anyone else. But lord Takashi has shown himself capable of doing things that even king Enma could not do. That's why you're here though, you don't think king Enma is as strong as he would have you believe."

His family was powerful and they would never betray their king. He would die for Enma so long as his king was true to his duty and people. "King Enma is the strongest."

She shook her head as she put the bottle down and sat down in his lap.

"But that human everyone has been talking about is even stronger," she whispered into his ear. "The rumors about her say that her soul alone kept Enma at bay."

Jomei stared at her for a moment. Dread filled him as he questioned if there was a mole in Hell. "How did you hear of that?"

She smiled at him like a fox that got aburage. Instead of answering him though, she just kissed him. Sweet, hot with fangs; it had been a long time since he had last enjoyed a kiss. He felt blood fill his mouth as she cut his tongue with those sharp fangs. It was arousing in the best and worst ways.

Suddenly she pulled away from him. "I wish I could tell you but then I would have to kill you."

"Oh? Why is that?" he asked her. He could see that the threat was a real one from the expression that she gave him.

"Because the gods don't like to share."

He stared at her, unsure that he had heard her right. The gods involved in an affair of demons? It had been centuries since the last time that they had done so. His parents had been children.

If the female in his arms could be trusted then it meant things were even more complicated. So complicated that he needed to go home as soon as possible.

He needed to warn Hell.

"With your toys again, Takashi? You're not a child," hissed a familiar voice. Jomei turned to see a familiar face scorning at Takashi.

Like with his own mother, time seemed to fear touching Nori. Everything about her screamed elegance and power. It always had, even when she had been broken beyond repair.

She wasn't broken though; she was strong as she stood her ground. Those golden eyes glared daggers at Takashi.

"If these are my toys then what are you?" Takashi questioned.

"A tired nanny trying to control a brat in need of a sore bottom," she answered calmly. She spun in place and it was then that their eyes met for just a moment.

He knew that she could see beyond his deception but wound never give him away. They both knew without words that they were on the same side. There were questions that needed answers. Those answers would come in time to both of them.

Takashi stood up, knocking the concubine in his lap off him. He grabbed at Nori's throat, choking her in punishment. There wasn't fear in Nori's eyes, she stared at him as he continued to try choking her.

Finally, Takashi stopped to glare at Nori. "So you're done?"

"For the moment," Takashi said as he tried to save face by slapping her.

She just looked bored by it all. "Good. It's times like this that reminds me how far the standards of real males have fallen. A lesser demon has more manners and etiquette than you do."

"Yes, well it's about time that we devolved a bit if we want a future for all of us."

"For all demons? Or do you mean all the demons in the realm of man? Because the demons in Hell are doing fine," Nori informed him stiffly.

Takashi laughed at that and Jomei was reminded of the mole. It would need to be dealt with soon or used as a tool to win their coming war. "You look too serious."

"All of this feels quite serious," he muttered to the female in his lap. He gave little kisses to the side of her face as his hands wandered. Jomei gave her what she wanted with gentle touches and kisses. His eyes though, stayed on the conflict before him.

"It's only the beginning…there's much going on. It's just sad that Kagome is at the heart of it," she whispered breathlessly into his ear.

His eyes turned to look at her. She had a smug smile on her full lips that had his answers. Yet those pale green eyes promised to give him none."Will you come with me?"

"You could not be less of a demon!" Nori shouted at Takashi suddenly. She meant to say more but the ground beneath started to shake. The female with him giggled aloud with joy.

Everyone turned to stare at them as her giggles turned into true laughter. Suddenly she shouted at the top of her lungs, "IT'S STARTING!"

OoOo

The earth beneath him shake. He could tell that something deadly had been released. He could barely stand, tired and weak from everything. It was like time had reversed itself upon him, forcing him to relive his childhood.

Hunger clawed at him like a feral animal, his head hurt with a constant headache.

The shaking only worsened everything. He couldn't stand anymore. Pain slammed him hard as his knees slammed into the earth that had been beneath him. He knew that if he couldn't stand, if he couldn't fight then he was dead. If he was dead then he couldn't save Kagome from his brother and everything would have been for nothing.

All the pain he had endured since the moment his life began would be for nothing.

Only Kagome mattered anymore. He would gladly give his life for her after he had freed her. She would be saved from the curse that was Sesshomaru and their children.

That thought of his hand stained in his brother's blood helped him find the strength to stand. Yet as he stood, a small voice whispered something to him. " _Sesshomaru was our friend, is our brother…can't we talk this out with him?"_

"No," he growled as the land beneath him began to shake even harder. "I can't just talk to him. He isn't my friend or my brother. He never was and will never be."

" _So we kill him? We kill the only family we have left? We kill his children? For what? A woman that may be dead or dying this very moment!"_

"SHUT UP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. The thought of her dead because of him was too much. He couldn't continue on if she was dead; he couldn't stand to be left behind again.

Kagome was different. She wouldn't leave him behind, alone in a world that hated him.

Still the voice whispered to him. " _No one wanted to leave us. They were forced to, you know that. We know life is unfair and unkind, we have been loved and we can continue to be so in the future."_

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!"

" _Why? So you can just kill us? Kill Kagome? You won't look at other options, you won't listen to your friends. You're killing us and you don't even care anymore."_

Tears burned his eyes as he heard the truth. He knew the words to be true and right but he couldn't stop. If he stopped then he would die. "Why should I care? I'm just a half breed after all."

The voice fell silent the moment he spoke the words.

"The ones that I truly love always die. First mother, then Kikyo and I'll join her if Kagome is gone too."

"Inuyasha?" His heart still in his chest at the call of his name.

He turned to see her standing there, tears running down her cheeks as she burned alive. Fire surround her, burning the grass beneath her and the trees around her. Her naked skin glowed from the fire that encased her yet she didn't burn.

Her eyes were different and she almost didn't look human. She looked so different from the woman that he had been in love with. Her hair was longer than he had ever seen, her hips and breasts had changed with motherhood. There were scars on her stomach that told him of his failure to save her. Those scars cut into him deep. Deeper than his brother's hand ever could.

Still, even with the distance between them…he could tell it was her. She was within his reach at last.

"Kagome," He breathed as he took a step towards her. How that step cost him as his vision began to darken.

Tears continued to roll down her cheeks and she flinched at her name. The fear and hatred with those eyes of hers wasn't meant to be there. He wanted to see the love, the kindness that had always shined through. It had been his lifeline in the darkest of moments.

It wasn't there, it was just gone. Replaced by that fear, hate and those tears. This was his Kagome but she was a stranger as well.

A stranger created by his brother.

"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha."


	17. Chapter 16: Insanity

**Chapter 16: Insanity**

It was instantaneous for him. The world shook in acknowledgment. He felt as if he could at last breathe once more.

Kagome had returned.

"Sesshomaru?" the demon slayer questioned but he ignored her. He knew that she had returned, he needed to go to her. His soul longed for him to take her into his embrace once more. Everything screamed inside of him in demand. The darkness that surrounded them turned red to his gaze. It was sharp and clear like his desire.

His chance had finally come and hope bloomed with it. She had returned to the mortal realm.

It was overwhelming to think that he could see her again. To touch her, to hold her and beg forgiveness for the pain. He knew now how much pain he had caused her; he had to help her heal.

It was the only way that they could ever move on.

He would beg. He would grovel. He would burn in hell for an eternity to be forgiven by her. He would do anything for her forgiveness and for one last kiss.

People could think him a coward for dying for that single kiss.

He would not care. They were worthless little insects to him. They wanted her for themselves, to ensure that they would have a future. He would kill them all before letting them touch one hair on her head.

Blood would take flight by his claws.

"Sesshomaru, what is it?" the demon slayer questioned.

He glanced at her and she shied away. The fear flowed in her like water flowing in a river. it was so different from the warrior that had helped to kill Naraku. The fear in her told him so much. More than she would want him to know. But then he had always seen more than people had wanted him to.

It was expected that a lord understood all.

Kagome had been full of cracks like a sake cup, chipped over and over. The chips would make cracks and then the cup would simply break. He would not let that happen to her again. He would stop her if she tried.

"It's Kagome," he said before he disappeared into fast blur.

ooOo

Kagome stared at him for a moment before she couldn't take anymore. Forced to turn away, she looked up at the night sky. the stars were so bright and lovely on a breathtaking canvas. It had been so long since she had last seen them. They filled her with something.

Her chest tightened as tears came to her eyes. Everything was burning. She was doing that, burning the world around her.

She was so full of pain, more than when she had been in Hell. She hadn't meant to come back to Earth, she wanted to die. She wanted it all to stop, the pain, the emotions, the memories. They wouldn't; they just continued to torment her endlessly.

Kagome turned back to look at him. Inuyasha was a mess…to the point that Kagome didn't know how he was still alive.

His body was covered in open wounds and his arm was missing. It was like she stared at Sesshomaru as his foreleg had been cut off. She had broken the older brother when his home had burned around them. Now it seemed she had somehow broken the younger one too.

The air grew claws when it reached her lungs at the thought. They felt bloody and messy inside her chest. The pain was almost too much.

It reminded her of when she had given birth.

Her hands moved to her stomach at the thought. All her babies had grown inside her, untainted by their father's poison. A poison that seemed to have inflicted their uncle now as well. They were immune to it and she envied them for it. It was a sickening realization for her.

How could she be a mother? She was ruined and no one saw that. She was a machine, broken beyond repair yet people continued to try and replace parts.

They didn't work. They helped for a moment, made her feel better until they stopped working. The parts didn't fit right, too big, too small, they poked at her in the oddest of ways. People would try to take them out but it was useless.

She was hollow inside with nothing. The only things within were the pain and poison that endlessly tormented her.

"I'm sorry, Kagome…I'm so sorry," Inuyasha whispered like it would help.

The fire that refused to consume her flesh and bones spread. It spread rapidly, devouring the trees and grass like a starving dog finally given food. Despite that, it was hesitant with Inuyasha like a lioness. It was waiting for the right moment to devour him as well. He was in danger because of her. Still he didn't leave, didn't even seem to notice the fire. Inuyasha just continued to stare at her with those lifeless eyes. He couldn't see her though.

Where had the fire gone? His eyes had always burned with the most beautiful of flames. She couldn't find it in the gold.

It was then that she felt like there was another set of eyes on her. Panic touched her then because she knew there was only the two of them. She knew what it meant without words. Knew it to be a bond that she hadn't desired to have.

Sesshomaru was coming for her.

The world was a cage that he controlled. She could run but he would find her in any corner of it. All she could do was run. "Inuyasha, we need to run."

"Sorry…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, Kagome…I'll kill him and his spawn, I promise." His words were the mutterings of a pained man. Still his words made her blood run cold as ice despite the flames.

He wanted to kill her children.

The babies that she had grown within her, that she loved more than anything despite their father. She couldn't understand why he would want to do that. She was so shocked that she even voiced it, "Why?"

"Sesshomaru's a monster…his brats would be too. Their very existence will simply torment you," he muttered as his hand ran through his hair. "You have suffered enough because of my…my failing you."

"They're innocent," she told him. Her hands turned to fists at the thought of her best friend killing her children. Their little bodies ripped to pieces, blood staining their beautiful black and silver hair. Mizuki's happy eyes lifeless with death. "They played no part in their father's actions. They were just the outcome of them."

"It's why they need to die. They'll torment you, forever reminding you of what he did to you," he hissed. His hand twisted in his silver hair, pulling it as he did. It looked painful to her.

"And if I love them?" She asked.

He looked convinced that she couldn't possibly love her babies. They were the most important people in her world, she wanted to die for their sake as much as her own.

So much so that their safety overrode her fear of Sesshomaru. She could feel him getting even closer to her.

"It's impossible. How could you love the spawn of the one that raped you?"

"Because my love for them transcends anything I feel for their father. He…and you will never be more important than them," she whispered.

"I will kill them and Sesshomaru," he told her fiercely. His eyes told her that he would do anything to accomplish his goal.

He was getting closer to her. Could only be more than a few hundred miles away. Yet all she could think about was the threat to her babies before her. A threat that came from her best friend. "You won't."

"I will, I promise you and beg you to forgive-"

"I'll hate you," Kagome told him. "I'll hate you and burn you to death if you even try to harm them."

He stared at her before he burst out laughing. It was a hysterical laughter that told her, he was no longer sane. Then he was suddenly standing as he stared at her with those lifeless eyes. He moved towards her like one of Urasue's clay soldiers, without life. "You're not real."

"Excuse me?" she whispered before she understood.

He thought her a delusion of his mind when she was flesh and blood before him. "You're not real. You're nothing but a trick of my head. I'll kill him and his brats before I save the real you, Kagome. I promise."

She looked down to see his feet were burning in her flames. The skin of his feet were blistering and red as they continued to burn. He didn't seem to feel any pain from it. She wanted to reach out, to burn him for his promise.

It would be pointless in the end though. Any pain that she gave him would do nothing to him. "I'm real, Inuyasha and I will kill you if you try to harm them."

"KAGOME!"

She froze at the call of her name from behind her. She knew that voice better than she ever wanted to. Terror roared to life within her for her greatest fear had come for her.

OoOo

Her back was to him and fire surrounded her. Still, he knew that it was her; how he ached to touch her. She stood there, frozen like a cold stone statue until he took a step closer to her.

She turned and stared at him with such fear. The ocean blue that he loved so dearly was gone. They had disappeared into a deep red that was full of hate. Despite it, he knew that it was Kagome.

She glowed with bright flames that didn't burn her. She was naked with the scars of childbirth and his claws still upon her. Need demanded that he touch her as he wanted, take her as he had in the past. That wasn't possible; she still feared him.

"Kagome…come back to me," he told her.

She shook her head in refusal and even whispered the word "no".

He pushed the need away, knowing it would only make it all the harder for them both. "Kagome, please. Come back to me, we'll fix our problems together."

"No," Kagome told him more firmly. She trembled and the earth began to shake once more. "I can't and I won't…I wanted to die because of you, Sesshomaru. I still do."

Her words wounded him greater than any other he had ever heard. He wanted to go to her and erase the pain that she felt. He walked towards her as he spoke. "Why not? Do you not know how I feel about you? I love-"

"DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY THAT DAMN LIE TO ME AGAIN!" She screamed so loud that staggered him. Still, he walked towards her with the intent of never letting her go.

She stepped back, away from him. Her expression told him that she was about to run. But instead she was pushed out of the way by Inuyasha. His brother looked at him with the expression of an insane creature. His brother was no longer human or demon.

He had become a true monster.

"YOU DIE TODAY, SESSHOMARU!"


	18. Chapter 17: The Death of One

Chapter 17: Death of One

Sesshomaru pushed her out of the way as Inuyasha rushed at him. Kagome stared at his hand, engulfed in her blue flames. Guilt assaulted her for it, as he defended himself from his brother.

Why did she feel guilty? She had done nothing wrong. Even knowing that, she still felt so as she watched him fight off Inuyasha with his lone hand.

Nothing felt right, it all felt twisted and knotted like yarn played with by a cat. A part of her wanted to heal him, another wanted to help Inuyasha kill him. At the same time, she wanted to run away.

She hated that. All she had been doing was running away from everything. She knew that she needed to move past what had been done. That didn't change the fact that she wanted to die as well. Everything hurt but she had never been a coward.

At least, she hadn't been before all this began.

Kagome remembered the warrior that she had been. Now she knew that she was just broken.

She watched as Sesshomaru dodged Inuyasha with ease. She took in Inuyasha's injuries; Sesshomaru had given them all to her friend.

He had been her friend for so long. She had wanted more with him once. A future that was long dead in the womb of her hope.

In the darkest of nights when Sesshomaru's arms had been wrapped around her, she thought of him. She had hoped that he would appear and take her away from all the pain. What a child she had been.

Too lost in her misery to think of anything else.

She certainly had never thought of her children on those nights. Only Inuyasha, the man that had lost his mind. The man that wanted all her babies dead. Could she even still call Inuyasha a friend, knowing that? She already knew the answer.

There was nothing to do as she watched them fight. The fires around her continued to burn the world as she did. Sesshomaru was at a disadvantage because of her. With that in her mind, she walked towards them.

Alarm sparked in Sesshomaru's golden gaze as she did. Kagome watched as he thrust his burning hand into Inuyasha's face, stopping him for the moment. Then he appeared directly in her path. "Sesshomaru…"

He was covered in Inuyasha's blood, his hand was turning black from her blue flames. Despite that, he was calm as he stood before her. "Do not get between us right now, Kagome."

"He wants to kill our babies."

"I know…do you want me to spare him?" Sesshomaru questioned her softly.

She laughed at that before she asked him, "would you if I said yes?"

He reached out to touch her but stopped when she flinched. Kagome didn't know what to think at the sad expression that appeared on his face. "I do not want to cause you any pain, Kagome. I have caused enough of it already after all. If you want him to live then I'll spare him, so long as our children are never near him."

"SESSHOMARU!" Inuyasha shouted.

Sesshomaru pushed her out of the way once more before taking the brunt of Inuyasha's sudden charge. She fell upon her butt and watched as Inuyasha slammed a fist into Sesshomaru's face.

Kagome noticed how his face was on fire with her flames, only he didn't burn like his brother.

oOo

It felt so good. He tried to punch Sesshomaru again, only to miss. He hated his brother so much.

Once upon a time, he would have called Sesshomaru his brother. He had even seen him as his ally if not a distant friend. That was all before Sesshomaru took Kagome, before Sesshomaru broke something in him. Everything hurt because of Sesshomaru.

Every moment was filled with pain, sadness and misery. The blue flames that cover his vision gave him some peace. It was cold and numbing, filling him with hope.

A hope that he could take her back because the fire was hers. After all, Sesshomaru was being burned by her as he was being comforted. "She hates you, doesn't she?"

Sesshomaru's eyes flashed red for a moment at his question. A smile filled his face at the answer. "She hates you and those babies of yours…how can she not?"

"Am I to care, Inuyasha? Because I see no point in caring about what a ruined lump of flesh has to say," Sesshomaru informed calmly.

Ruined? He was only ruined because of Sesshomaru. It still burned that Miroku had thought it was a just punishment. There was nothing good about feeling as if your bones were exploding from within. To feel like your flesh was hard, unwilling to move as it crippled you.

He didn't want that pain anymore. Inuyasha knew that only death would make it stop. He couldn't end it all yet.

He needed to save Kagome before he could do that.

Sesshomaru suddenly slammed his boot down on his knee, Inuyasha screamed because of it. He knew that it was destroyed beyond repair. It hurt so much that Inuyasha found himself laughing instead of crying. There was no way he would ever walk with that leg again.

It was then that he turned his head to look at Kagome. The look on her face was worse that his useless leg. Pity, sadness and…acceptance.

What was there for her to accept? His death? He should have died long ago. Only she had kept him alive when he should have been rotting in the ground. "You'll be doing this one day to her."

"What?"

"That little baby of yours. You'll do the same to her," he whispered.

Sesshomaru's eyes turned red and stayed so at Inuyasha's words. He drew Bakusaiga, his face turning more dog as he barely kept control. "SAY THAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU, INUYASHA!"

Inuyasha felt envious at the sight. For so long, he had wanted to be a full demon. To have that power, to be accepted in a society that lived by it. For so long, he hadn't wanted to be hated for being part of two worlds.

Kagome had been the one to show him that he wasn't. Now there was an expression of hate in her eyes at his words. "Your child will suffer and hate you like I do. Like Kagome does. Tell me, Sesshomaru, what happened to your arm? Did someone take it?"

"Shut up, Inuyasha!" Kagome suddenly shouted.

Both he and Sesshomaru instantly turned to her. Her naked beauty filled him with desire that he had long denied himself. He should have watched her with Miroku all those years ago.

"Why? I can't stand anymore…I can barely breathe. I…I want…to…want to…die." His vision blurred with tears. He wanted to be held in that moment, to be embraced with love and warmth.

The hatred disappeared at his words from her. There was only sadness and pity; it reminded him of his mother's last moments. Those emotions had been reflected in her eyes as she had taken him into her arms. She had used the last of her strength to curl around him.

Kagome faded away in the blur of his tears. Then the pain began to fade as warm silk cradled him. He was scared to hope in that moment.

"Mama?"

"Shh, it's alright." He couldn't recognize the voice so he just buried his head in the warmth. It was scary to know that this was the end, he could barely feel his body.

His eyes could no longer see the blurred colour. He had been to the border of the land of the living and death. But this was different, this nothingness was terrifying "I'm scared…I…I don't…I don't want to…to die."

"It's alright, it's alright…I have you."

It was then that he felt himself being picked up. The pain was gone.

oOo

Sesshomaru stared at Kagome as she held Inuyasha. His brother's breathing had stopped when his sword had pierced his heart. His stomach twisted at what he had done. Even knowing it had needed to happen, it had felt wrong.

Almost like he had put down his own child rather than his brother.

What unnerved him was the calm expression upon Kagome's face. Not the fact that the blue fire that had surrounded her had turned into silk. Or that she had held Inuyasha gently like one of their children. It was the calm expression that had fallen in place as Inuyasha passed.

She dropped him abruptly as she stood, her expression never changing.

He sheathed his blade and reached for her, the fire gone and him completely healed. It was like she had never burned him. "Kagome-"

"I don't have the time and I don't want to deal with you, Sesshomaru." She turned then to walk away from him.

He didn't know what to do.


End file.
